Aloha Navy Boy

Living on an island is lonely especially if you're a haole in the middle of the ocean. That's been my nickname on these islands since as far back as I can remember. Haole is what the Hawaiians called the white men that invaded their home and took their kingdom away. In Hawaiian it means without breath. Sometimes I wonder if I am no better than my ancestors that took the kingdom away from the beautiful people.

I'm born and raised here and yet I will never be one of the locals. Surfing is a fun pass time, and so is hula. But my skin and being a haole means I will never not look like a tourist. I'm a tourist to everyone new I meet. I will never look like an islander, even if I feel like one, and sympathize with their story. To make matters worse my mother even gave my white *ss a Hawaiian name, Nani. I don't deserve to live on this island or have a Hawaiian name presented to me. It's all too embarrassing.

"Happy birthday, Nani! I can't believe you're eighteen years old," Mom says as she barges into my bedroom with a plate full of waffles and coffee. Ever since I was a little girl, my family has made it a ritual to make every and any family member breakfast in bed for their birthday. My family comes pouring into my room.

My little sister, Julie, who is spared a Hawaiian name, piles onto my lap and instantly snuggles me. My annoying orange cat, Doritos, sprawls out with his claws extended on the pillow next to me. He's torn up more pillows than my mother cares to admit. He's also blessed the neighbors by shitting in their yard and leaving them little presents of various dead native birds on their porch.

My family sings me the birthday song as out of tune as they do every year. The cat hides its ears under my pillow to drown out the sound. I wish I could plug my ears, pretty sure blood is gushing out the sides. My hand touches the side of my ears to ensure deafness hasn't set in. It hasn't, I can still hear. At least my ears are intact as I begin adulthood with wretched voices in my ear.

"Our singing is not that bad. Even the cat likes it," Dad says as he removes the pillow off Doritos' head. The cat runs away startled by the motion of the pillow. Julie laughs and continues to snuggle me.

"He liked it when it ended. I can't say I disagree with the cat's analysis of your singing. It was awful."

"It's better than last year, right Nani?" Mom asks hopeful as she hands me a few gift bags.

No one in my family has the patience to wrap gifts. We've tried. Christmas is the worst time. My sister wrapped presents in toilet paper and newspaper. It was so embarrassing we decided to use gift bags only, and that was six years ago. My poor twelve-year-old sister has no idea how lucky she is to be spared watching Mom use a whole roll of tape on one present.

"Yes, your singing has gotten better. You didn't have to get me gifts though. You know all I want is to go to the free Hula event and eat pizza. I'm easygoing."

"Just shut up and open your gifts. It didn't feel right not to give you something today."

Inside the gift bag is a necklace with a single pearl on it. My mother's grandmother's necklace. I've wanted it since the time I could talk.

"Mom, are you sure I can have this?" My smile widens as my mother pulls my blonde hair back to the side. She starts putting the necklace on my neck.

"It's yours. I got it when I was eighteen and now I want you to have it."

It's the only thing we have left of my great-grandmother. An earthquake on the island a few years back destroyed the furniture my mother inherited. That's one of the hazards of living on a rock in the middle of the sea. If an earthquake or hurricane won't get you. The rain will flood you or a poisonous bug will bite your legs.

It's my mother's personal way of passing the torch to me. I finish up my breakfast and open the remaining gifts my family presents to me. My sister got me new slippers. I'm a sucker for fuzzy things like socks and pillows. My dad got me a gift card to Amazon. He's never been great at gift-giving and started handing out gift cards five years or so ago.

"Thanks, everyone. Jessica will be here soon to take me to the beach." Jessica McHale, my best friend, was also born and raised here. She is half-Polynesian, but her name says otherwise. We're an ironic pair. I have the Polynesian name and am as haole as they come. She's half-Samoan on her mom's side, but from the sound of her name, you'd think she was a white tourist from Seattle. We were destined to be friends.

The beach is full of tourists. Tourists are easy to spot on a beach. Their bodies are pale and have red uneven sunburns on them. Their sunscreen is white and not blended in. People come to the islands to have a destination location wedding, others want to escape the cold, and some just want to f*ck an island girl, like Jessica. Everyone always wants Jessica. Her name is not Polynesian sounding at all, but her skin is all that matters to jarheads and navy boys.

Whenever Jessica and I go to the beach the eyes of every horny boy from here to Waikiki are known. All cocks within a hundred miles radius pulsate to her olive-tanned skin. My white bready flesh burns and I hate that I will never blend in. The same way sunscreen never blends in on these tourists.

I take off my lava-lava, which mainlanders call a sarong. It's the perfect bikini cover for a hot beach outing. I set my sarong on the sand and sit on it. Jessica sprays my pasty body with sunscreen.

"It's so unfair..." The urge to b*tch about how lucky she is tempts the edges of my lips.

"Here we go again," Jessica says while cutting me off from my self-pity.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I quip as I cross my arms in jest.

"Oh, nothing. It means even on your birthday you're still jealous of me at the beach. We could just pretend to be lesbians to keep the boys away if you'd prefer." Jessica is referring to the one time back in our freshman year when we decided to be each other's first kisses to get it over with. She wasn't half bad at kissing back then, but I don't swing that way. It was still good practice and also helped us confirm, that we are not lesbians. At least not yet, hey we're still young anything can happen I guess.

"No, I don't swing that way, Jessie."

"Don't call me, Jessie. You know I hate that," she says as she stands up and stretches. It's unfair that the universe has blessed her with tan skin that I know I shouldn't covet but do. I'd love to have curly black hair and tan skin. In middle school, I was so jealous of Jessica, I dyed my hair black, curled it, and used spray tan just to hide my haole looks.

"Then don't refer to our freshman year ever again," I reply.

"Can I call her, Jessie instead?" A young male voice bellows behind us. My eyes instantly roll as I turn and see a trio of half-naked horny marines or navy brats prancing our way.

"No, you most certainly may not," I sneer at the chiseled men who wouldn't give me a second glance. I'm not tall, dark, and hula. I'm blonde, Barbie, and stupid. Thanks, white parents for forcing me to live in paradise where I will never fit in.

"Well...well aren't we in a bad mood. I can always cheer you up when I'm done with your friend here."

"Don't you p*n*s faces have somewhere else to be? Go bother someone else."

I pick up my lava-lava off the beach. But a jerk face in light green coconut tree-covered shorts has a different game in mind for me.

"I'd like to bother you in a bit. You've got a nice pair of t*ts if I do say so myself."

"I think he's more your speed," I say while pointing to his friend.

"Let's try this again. My name is Nolan. Nolan Grey. I'm new around here. This is Justin and Jared. We were just looking for a little fun."

"Go sheath your c*ck somewhere else. I'm not interested."

Nolan ignores my warnings and continues to sweet-talk us. He's clearly a horny jarhead looking to get laid.

"Go away, jarhead," I say.

"Navy. We're in the Navy actually. But good guess. Maybe we could make it a date? I'd love to show you around the base sometime."

"I'd rather not," I reply. Jessica is also preoccupied with Justin and Jared tormenting her. We came here to enjoy my birthday, not have these horny fuckers attempt to win us over. Not today jackasses, not on my birthday.

After ten more minutes of c*ck blocking, Nolan and his friends decide we should engage in volleyball.

"Let's play a round of volleyball. You look like the athletic type to me, Barbie." Did he really just call me Barbie? It's only okay when I refer to myself as that.

"My name isn't Barbie."

"Well, I have to call you something since you're so keen to not have a name," Nolan says while throwing a volleyball toward me.

I throw the ball back and walk away from him and his friends.

"Why are you playing hard to get? This is getting very old you know?" Nolan interjects as a means to make me think I care what he thinks.

"That we can both agree on. I'm done playing the can't handle rejection game with you. Bye, prick."

As Nolan puts his hand on my shoulder a volleyball from out of nowhere hits Nolan straight in the face.

"She said to leave them alone. Take a hint, Grey."

"Get out of here, Edwards. These two are mine."

"Did you ask them? Because clearly, they aren't interested in you at all. Just take your volleyball and leave the beach."

After a five-minute staring contest between them, Nolan and his sidekicks leave. I finally lay my eyes on my savior. A handsome young man, who has dirty blonde hair like mine. His muscles are bigger than Nolan's or maybe I'm just hoping they are. As I turn to thank him, his attention is everywhere but on me. Jessica has his attention and he's already shaking her hand. Even on my d*mn birthday, my best friend gets the best of me. Even the good guys notice Jessica before me. It's time to face the facts, no one in the world will ever notice Nani James.

After flirting with Jessica, Edwards holds his hand out to mine.

"Hi, I'm Garret Edwards. Sorry, they were bothering you. Do you need anything else?"

'No, we're fine. Thanks," Jessica replies since I don't know what to say.

His smile is undeniably handsome, and my heart doing flips isn't a good sign. He's clearly a Navy boy too since Nolan knew him by his last name. I'm not letting my heart get broken again, not by a marine or Navy boy. That's the last thing I need.

Sorry navy boy, I don't care how hot you are go talk to someone else.

"Edwards, I have a bone to pick with you," Nolan Grey taunts as I return to my car from the beach. His black hair is combed over to the side. His nose stands out and it's the size of a bird's beak. Some women are all over him and I just don't understand it.

"What? Are you upset the sirens sang their song for somebody else?"

He's the one who chooses to taunt damsels on the beach. It was pitiful to watch. Someone had to do something. That blonde chick, whatever her name is was over it. The other men were all over her tan friend, but that blonde one was a spitfire.

"They didn't sing it for you either, dipshit. I'll make you a little bet, Edwards." Everyone at the Naval Base knows better than to make deals with Nolan Grey. Images of the tall blonde thick hipped hottie make their way into my thoughts and for some reason the thought of this jackass seeing her forces my hand to make a deal with him.