Their Desired Luna

Jonah

Two weeks later

Argh, what the f*ck? What in the actual hell am I supposed to do to get a whole f*ck*ng night’s sleep around here?

The decision to suffocate the little sod couldn’t be taken lightly, under any circumstances. However, only this time, I am pretty sure suffocation is the only way I can get some rest, some alone time, and an actual full night of sleep. No f*ck*ng interruptions or whining about anything. Just sleep, blissful, calm and wonderful sleep. Just the thought of a good night's sleep is turning me on, which I have never experienced before. Who would have thought I could get hard on over the thought of restful sleep?

“Sleep is the new wet dream,” Jax mutters.

A rather annoyed growl slips from my lips as I gather enough strength to roll onto my side. I close my eyes and try to force my mind to listen to my voice as I whisper the f*ck*ng never-ending mantra. “Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out,” I whisper it for another three times and groan.

I bring my hand to my face and barely restrain from facepalming myself. Instead, I pinch the bridge of my nose and swallow the growl that is already forming in my chest. “Nope, I still want to f*ck*ng suffocate him,” I mumble, completely defeated. I am so f*ck*ng annoyed that I flip off the tent ceiling.

Why, oh why, did Kat have to make me his partner? I don’t understand, all my life, I have thought she loved me like her family, but apparently, there is some hidden hatred if she thought this is a good idea. God f*ck*ng d*mn it, this has to be a punishment for whatever sins I have committed against her. Nice, now even my mind is losing any freaking sense - that’s for the lack of sleep.

I can nearly feel the frustration radiate off me as I glare at the sleep thief. Every night, every goddamn night, he keeps stealing my dreams away. I swear, he is doing it on purpose.

At the beginning, maybe not. Perhaps then, it happened here and there by accident, but I believe since he knows how easily he can get under my skin - now, he’s doing this on purpose. B*tch.

“Don’t do it,” Jax growls in warning just as I sit up and grab the pillow. By the time I reach his bed, I am already clutching the pillow and I hold it over Eziah’s face. My wolf’s warning sounds like nothing but a distant memory, floating through the darkest tunnels of my mind.

Don’t do this. Don’t do that. But, mom, I really want to! I really, really f*ck*ng want to smother the little sh*t!

Jax refuses to step back. He goes as far as trying to nudge to the surface, well aware that he can take over control with ease since I’m too tired to remember how to breathe properly, let alone stand against a full-grown *ssh*l*. I mean wolf. Yes, my wolf.

He growls at me and pulls on my hands to pull the pillow against my chest. I grit my teeth, refusing to let him have his way. I’m ready to kill, destroy and sleep over the corpse of this snoring, whimpering f*ck*r. “I am putting him out of his misery and mine,” I bark at Jax. If my wolf won’t let me be, by the end of this adventure, I’ll dye his fur pink and make him look like the gayest wolf in the woods.

I know Jax has something to say, but his attention, the same as mine, is caught by the sleeping beast himself, lurching upright in his sleeping bag.

Eziah’s breathing is hard. His whole body is drenched in sweat and he keeps blinking his eyes as if he’s trying to click through one of those old cameras that holds photos.

His head snaps to me and Eziah finally stops blinking like a maniac when his eyes go extra f*ck*ng wide. I don’t know, I’m too tired to think anymore.

“What the f*ck, Jonah?” he snarls and smacks the pillow away while he still struggles to catch his breath. *ssh*l*. First, he takes my precious moments of rest, and now he’s abusing my pillow. The nerve of this guy is unreal. I’m so telling his mom!

“What the f*ck? For your information, I was about to do a goddamn public service, cost free. If not me, who else would sacrifice their sanity to get rid of the sleep thief?” I snarl at him, my voice low and dangerous. He has to catch on the d*mn warning, because later on, there will be none. The next time he takes my wet dreams from me, I will kill.

Eziah glares at me. I don’t care how dangerous he thinks he looks. This is the guy who fears my little sister, so no way in hell am I going to feel any emotion, other than amusement, whenever he glares at me.

I raise an eyebrow as he puts his head between his legs and focuses back on the stupid attempts to catch his breath. Serves him well. Maybe now he will understand how hard my life has become after the sh*t he is pulling on me. A little loss of breath will never compare to the hours and nights I have lost because of him.

With a groan, I flop back down on my sleeping bag, trying to fall back to sleep. I don’t think this smartass understands how amazing my dream had been before he stole it. Just minutes ago, I was in my dreamland, watching the beauty of Mara bobbing her beautiful, perfect, sinfully s*xy little head. What makes the dream even better is that she was sucking on my c*ck, licking it and dragging her tongue across my length like it tastes better than her favorite lollipop.

A deep, almost painful sigh leaves my lips. It was perfect, so goddamn euphoric, but of course, this bonehead ruined it.

I barely shut my eyes and prepare to fall into death deep sleep when my alarm blares.

All I can do is snarl and growl like a grumpy old f*ck.

“Ah f*ck! This is ridiculous, Jonah! It’s already been two bloody weeks and we have still not found her!” Eziah snarls next to me.

Wait, does this b*tch think he has the right to snarl and act like he’s tired? He is tired?!

I let another growl slip from my lips, but this time, Jax joins me, just as annoyed with Eziah. “What is ridiculous is the fact you keep waking me up. I was having an awesome dream, and you… You f*ck*ng ruined it all!” I snap at Eziah as I sit up.

He rolls his eyes at me. God, this little sh*t! “What was so awesome about it?” He glances at me, and ‌I wonder if he’s asking only to distract me from the anger I feel.

My eyes follow his movements as Eziah runs his hand through his wet hair, clearly a little nervous. Ah, maybe he did realize I would have killed him if it weren’t for Jax and his sudden need to wake up.

Since I can’t fight his annoying presence in any other way, I decide it's best if I tell him the truth. A sly grin spreads across my lips as I turn my head and look Eziah in the eyes. “It was about your sister, my d*ck, her mouth-”

I’m more than ready to share some more details with him, but Eziah stops me by smacking me in the head with his goddamn pillow. What the f*ck does he have inside it - an entire brick building? Sure as hell feels like that. I swear, his pillow has secrets deeper than a woman’s purse.

A shiver runs down my spine at the thought, while Eziah stares at me with a disgusted look crossing his face. “What did I say about talking sh*t about my sister?” he growls at me.

I grin even wider and shrug. “Well, you asked. What was that saying… hmm… Oh, right - ask and you shall receive. All I did was answer your question. No need to act like a needy b*tch in heat.” I wink at him.

I get the lack of sleep and he gets some delightful moments to discuss the dreams I’m having about his wonderful sister. Not my problem if he can’t stomach the truth.

Eziah replies to my sarcasm with a growl. I almost expect something more, but when a miserable groan leaves his lips, I know I won the battle. Don’t worry, buddy, I will win the war too.

He shakes his head. “I give up, Jonah. It’s been too long already. I say we call it. Time of death, whatever your phone says.” Eziah waves his hand.

“She is not dead!” I snap back at him.

Eziah just shrugs, and I kind of understand his frustration. I mean, he can’t understand mine, because the m*th*rf*ck*r has gotten a decent amount of sleep after all. But honestly, it seems like we are wasting our time here. It’s been d*mn weeks since we entered the forest for the search and yet, there is still no sign of her. Not even a footprint or a piece of clothing - nothing.

I bring my hand to my chin and tap it with one finger, just to look like I’m deep in thought. While I do, Eziah looks at me like I hold the answers to any question that might pop into his mind.

An idea pops into mine, and I grin. “Well, if you would get these supposed gifts working, instead of fingering your *ssh*l*, we would have found her by now.” I shoot him another wink.

“Dude,” Eziah growls and sucks in a deep breath. He holds it for a moment, as if he needs to gather some goddamn patience. Why don’t you go outside and gather some mushrooms instead, smarty pants? I’m about to reply with something extra saucy when he takes my moment to shine and speaks. “I already told you I got nothing. And the lack of sleep is taking its toll,” he growls.

This. Little. Sh*t. The audacity!

I roll my eyes. “Don't whine to me about lack of sleep unless you want to tell me why you wake up at all hours of the night, screaming like a d*mn banshee. Eziah, you do it at all bloody hours, throughout the goddamn night, for f*ck’s sake. If you won’t tell me, I don't want to hear about your lack of sleep!” I snap at him.

I stand up, more than ready to get out of the tent and leave little miss ‘scream my head’ off behind.

“Nevermind,” Eziah finally mutters. I look at him over my shoulder and he’s already tugging on a shirt. I frown as I try to read his facial expression. For once, I almost break out in laughter as Eziah clutches his shirt and brings it to his nose to take a good whiff of it. As soon as the stench hits his nostrils, he pulls a face.

His eyes narrow as he glares at me. “I thought you did the washing the other day.”

I chuckle. F*ck, this is significantly better than any revenge I could think of. Unintentional game with lady karma over here. I nod my head.”Yeah, my washing. Do I look like your laundry lady?”

Eziah’s frown deepens. Clearly, he isn’t happy with me. Honestly, the frustration he has brought over my existence is even f*ck*ng worse. The somewhat amused mood fades, and once again, is replaced by pure annoyance. “Do it yourself,” I snap at him and move to undo the tent zip.

Once it’s open, I step out. Barely, but I hear Eziah. “Prick,” he mutters.

“*ssh*l*!” I call back.

I force my hands into the pockets of my pants and stride off towards Casen. He’s already awake, making some coffee over the fire. Good, at least there is one decent person in this hell.

“Bro, have you ever slept? Do you have any idea how sleep works, aside from the concept that is described in the books?” I ask him, a little worried about his sanity.

He doesn't answer, just stares back at the fire. “I know she is close; I can feel her,” Casen whispers. I feel like he’s talking to fire, like he is trying to find answers in that flame, and not holding a conversation with me.

I shake my head, unsure of what to say anymore. All I can do is repeat the same thing I’ve been saying for the entire time of our search. “We will find her,” I tell him as I sit on the log around the camp. I f*ck*ng hope we find her soon. Mom is struggling with her absence. We all are. As much as my brat sister pisses me off, she is another constant playing on my d*mn mind and I would do anything for her.

Eziah stumbles out of the tent. He is trying to pull on his camo shorts and falls flat on his face in the dirt. Casen nudges me and nods toward him, and I chuckle.

“You right, princess?” I ask him. I blow a kissy-face at him. Eziah flips me off before he gets back to his feet and yanks his pants up.

Another point for Jonah. Eziah, yeah, still zero. Ha, take this.

Casen nudges my side again, pulling my attention from the little miss perfect. As I return my gaze to him, he has already set out the map. The search teams are all over the forest, in every direction possible, yet somehow I am stuck with Casen and Eziah.

I shake my head to get rid of the thoughts that slowly consume me. I look over the map at all the highlighted sections. We have been radioing in all coordinates from each camp in our pursuit of her.

At first, I thought this search would be a piece of cake, given how openly we communicate and ensure every area is covered, but I was in for a surprise. This forest is the size of an entire state, and in two weeks, we hadn't even made a dent.

“I want to search this area.” Casen announces, pointing to the map. I frown at him. He is trying to move us back somewhere where we already were. We searched that exact area yesterday and found nothing.

“We did yesterday.” I remind him, just to ensure he isn’t losing his goddamn mind.

Casen shakes his head and sighs. “I f*ck*ng know, but my wolf wants me to go back there, so that is where we are going first,” he snaps at me.

Eziah appears by my side and joins me in watching Casen’s outburst. It’s so out of character for him. His shoulders slump and he sucks in a deep, shaky breath.

I exchange a glance with Eziah. I slap Casen’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, dude. I didn’t mean it like that.”

Casen glances at me. The poor guy looks broken, absolutely f*ck*ng devastated, and I fear to even think of how he feels in this situation. I know he’s apologetic about the outburst, but the last thing I need is for him to actually say the words out loud. I squeeze his shoulder a little. “All good, bro. We have been stuck together for weeks; it's fine.”

Eziah nods his head in agreement. For once, he understands he has to stand behind me and support the sh*t I say. It doesn’t matter what Eziah or I might say, Casen is the one we need to worry about now. Just like we worry about Rose.

“I know she was upset, but she didn't have to run,” Casen whispers as he hides his face behind his palms. I bite my lip, thinking if I have the right to offer any words and stop myself when I see him rub his hands down his face. Clearly, he thinks there have been enough words already.

Both me and Jax wonder if Casen would ever elaborate on this argument they had. Only he knows why she ran, and yet he has told us nothing, just that they had a fight. “I'm a f*ck*ng idiot,” Casen says, shaking his head.

Now, this looks like he might give us some inside information, so I take my hand off his shoulder and raise an eyebrow. “Care to elaborate?” I ask him. Casen’s eyes flick to Eziah for a second, and I glance between them, but Eziah quickly looks away.

“I can't, I just can't lose her,” he mutters as he places his head in his hand. Yeah, that’s not much of the answer I sought, but I guess I need to cut the guy some slack.

“You won't. We will find her,” I tell him.

Casen has already lost so much. First, he lost his family. All he had left was Vince.

However, since Vince went missing about a year ago, Casen was left completely alone. Vince just up and left without saying a word or leaving a warning, and nobody has seen him ever since. Every time I asked dad if he could send out scouts to look for Vince, dad shut me down and said the same thing - he would come back once he was ready.

“I shouldn't have told her. Your father told me not to. But I was an idiot. I couldn’t resist, so I did. And now, because of that, because of me, she ran from me.” Eziah and I stare at him for a second, both acting like our lips are glued shut.

As I turn my head and glance at Eziah, I wonder if he already had one of his grandiose visions again. He shrugs, so I turn back to Casen, but he gets up, chugging the rest of his coffee and dropping the mug next to the fire.

I raise an eyebrow as he walks off, wondering what he wants me to do next. “Let's go,” Casen says as stomps off among the trees. I chug down the rest of my coffee and jump to my feet to follow him.

*********

I feel like I am breathing in water. If it isn’t water, it has to be some liquid of unknown origin, because whatever it is, it’s f*ck*ng hard to breathe, though.

That’s exactly how steamy and hot the forest feels right now. I have no other option but to shrug off my shirt and tie it around my head to stop the goddamn sweat from getting in my eyes and burning away the remaining bits of my vision.

It is already lunchtime as we still try to navigate our way through the trees. Casen is running ahead of us while we follow him like shadows. I still don’t want to shift yet, and neither does Eziah. First of all, if anything were to happen, I need Jax at his best to ensure we can get out alive, and besides, we are running low on clothes.

The thing is that usually, when we shift, we stuff our clothes in logs, but when we return, all of them are missing from where we know we leave them. Not only that, I am worried about Jax eating something. My stomach has been turning all day, and the last thing I want is to throw my guts up to bring up whatever he chews on. I swear, sometimes Jax is lacking in survival instincts. The moron would gladly munch on Legos. Eat a brick, build a ship in your gut.

I barely avoid the tree in my way as I glance at Eziah. He appears to be deep in thought, completely out of reality. “Oi, are you searching or just walking around half asleep?” I snap at him.

“I was thinking,” Eziah retorts and shrugs his shoulders.

Yeah, as if being deep in thought is a good enough excuse for not looking for my little sister. I roll my eyes at him. “Well, don't think too hard. I wouldn't want you to give yourself a headache.”

Eziah growls.

“Actually, I take that back. A head like that should ache,” I chuckle. I really need to think about the surroundings in which I talk sh*t because the smartass starts pelting rocks at me.

“Chill, I was only playing. Man, you have been a real d*ck this entire time,” I snarl at him as I rub the side of my arm which caught the f*ck*ng rock. The little sh*t has a good aim.

“Between you and mom, always breathing down my d*mn neck, I wonder why,” Eziah growls at me. Wow, isn’t this great? Now, I will have to deal with a temper tantrum too.

“Is that why your mother put you with us?” I ask him.

“No, I asked to be placed with you and Casen,” Eziah mutters.

“You're telling me she wanted you to stay with her, but you hand-selected us to be sleep deprived?” I ask.

Before Eziah can part his lips or even think of an answer, pain ripples through me. I clutch my side and freeze in my step, waiting for it to pass.

“You okay?” Eziah calls out.

I wave him off. “Just a stitch from walking,” I tell him. The crunch of twigs and leaves tells me he is making his way through the thick bush to me.

"I'm fine,” I force the words through gritted teeth as I try to catch my breath and see his outstretched hand reaching toward me.

“You have been getting them for hours,” Eziah says as he shakes his head. Truth be told, he doesn’t look any better than me either. His body is overheating the same as mine.

“It's fine,” I repeat.

I don’t think Eziah will get a chance to feel the same as me, honestly. The aches and pains started early this morning. Kaif is still under control, but Kyan is anxious. I can also feel that Kaif is very f*ck*ng angry, but what worries me the most and makes me feel sick is Kyan’s distress. I’m pretty sure the pain is somewhat connected to that.

“This is pointless,” Eziah whines as he stretches his back. I ignore his whining, but clearly, he doesn’t think that I should. “I can't believe he still hasn't told us what is going on and why she ran. Don't you think it is a little odd?” he asks.

I just look at him and shrug. “That's Casen and Rose's business.”

“Yeah, but I don't get why it is a secret,” Eziah keeps pressing the issue.

“Probably the same reason you won't tell me about your nightmares. They are a secret,” I deadpan.

“They aren't nightmares,” Eziah blurts out, and I raise an eyebrow at him. He brushes his fingers through his hair, but I’m unsure if it’s because he’s uneasy or uncomfortable. “They are like some out-of-body experience,” he adds.

Alrighty then. So, I knew the guy didn’t have quite a full deck before, but now I can see how f*ck*ng bat sh*t crazy he is. He must have gotten that bit from his mother's side.

“Okay then,” I tell him.

“No, I am being serious. This is why I have told no one. No one would believe me.” he shakes his head and mutters some words under his breath as he kicks a rock. D*mn, dude, no need to hurt the poor rock. It’s innocent.

I raise an eyebrow at him. I hate to admit this, but he managed to plant the seed of curiousness within me. “Fine, I will give you the benefit of the doubt here and say you aren't nuts, so explain.” I keep my eyes set on Eziah for a moment until he starts walking again and I walk by his side.

I probably look like a right idiot as I swat at flies and insects every step I take. This goddamn place is full of them, like there is a whole birthing factory for the tiny buzzing fuckers somewhere near. And don't get me started on the blood-sucking mozzies.

“I become her,” Eziah suddenly says. Wait, wait, waiiit… Did he just say he becomes her?

Jonah

“You become a woman?” I gasp out.

All jokes aside, holy shit… Holy truck fuck shit, the dude’s actually crazy. And I mean crazy, looney bin type of crazy, not the regular type. Whatever that type might be.

As shocked as I am, I still struggle to keep my face neutral. Well, aside from the shock, of course. I really don’t want to hurt his feelings. Or am I supposed to say her feelings now?

Wait, does this mean Eziah can shift between both genders? Is this a gift he just stumbled upon recently?

“I am being serious, Jonah,” Eziah says, and he stops in his tracks.

I glance at him and frown. The thing is that Eziah looks genuinely bothered by whatever he claims is happening to him. He shakes his head while I watch him.

“Forget it,” he says as he stomps past me. I stop him by grabbing his upper arm.

There’s no way I’ll let him drop this now that I know he’s a gender-shifter. Is that a thing? Shapeshifter is, so maybe I