Teach me to love

♡Pov Luísa Garcia♡

"You will make it, I have faith"--- Nanda speaks giving me a warm look along with a fond smile.

I let out a heavy sigh, throwing my body onto the back of the couch. I raise my hands above my head, massaging my temples in hopes of easing some of the headaches this whole situation is causing me.

We are in his small apartment, which is next door to mine, with the laptop on the small coffee table in the living room, looking at my e-mail, hoping that there will be some reply to the countless resumes I have sent out during these months. But as usual, there is nothing, no new email.

I have been unemployed for three months when I finished college and was kicked out of my internship. Since then, I have been living with my savings and these wonderful brothers that God gave me, they are supporting me too much. Without them I wouldn't have been able to go through many moments of my life, I am sure that they are angels that God sent to take care of me in his name.

He always does this, using people to ensure our well-being. We just need to have our spiritual eyes open, so we can see that behind every act, no matter how small they may seem to the carnal eyes, there is the care of the Father for us.

I do everything here, really everything. There are a few things that I leave to do at my house. I shower here to save water, I eat with them because there is nothing but water in my refrigerator. I watch TV and charge my cell phone in their apartment to save energy. This way, by the end of the month the bills are low and we can pay them, with a little left over for the next month. But this time the little that will be left will not be enough. In other words, I desperately need a job.

They even asked me to live here, but I didn't accept because I knew it would be too uncomfortable. The apartment is already small, if I were to bring my things I wouldn't be able to walk properly. But I'll have to move here anyway, I'm running out of options. The money I have is only enough for this month, my savings are at the very end, and we won't be able to keep the apartment if we continue at this pace.

I look at the blonde, opening my arms to her who immediately hugs me tightly. Nanda is like my older sister, she takes care of me as if she were my own. After all, she is twenty-seven years old, which makes her two years older than me and I love her as such because to me she really is my sister.

We met five years ago in college. We were in the same class, so we studied together, and from there came a lifelong friendship.

I had a certain difficulty socializing, because of my past, so I was always alone, and isolated in my world. Until the day one of the teachers told us to do an assignment together, and we haven't been apart since. And this crazy woman was who introduced me to God, to the greatest and most beautiful love of all.

She always spoke words that touched me very much, until one day I decided to go to church with her. I felt at home when I entered, it gave me a new feeling that made me go for two months straight until I made the best decision of my life, to accept God as my savior. One year later I was baptized, the best day of my life, and today I have four years in the gospel for His honor and glory!

Now, looking back, I realize that I was never alone and He was always my strength in many moments. Because my story is one of overcoming, but on several occasions, I wanted to give up, and thanks to Him, I stayed on my feet without stopping the fighting.

I grew up watching my mother get beaten up, saying that it was out of love. I begged her to denounce my father, but she always refused, claiming that he would change. Until one day when I did, I denounced him, the police came to my old house, but my mother said it was my lie and deceived the police, covering up for her aggressor and the marks on his skin that made clear the truth of my words. Because of this I was beaten all night and in the end, I had to hear that it was my fault.

It hurt me so much because all I wanted was just to end that hell we were living, to have a better life.

Understanding that this situation would never end, I dedicated myself to my studies, doing as many odd jobs as I could to save some money. When I turned 18 I was going to leave that house and seek my freedom.

But, unfortunately, when I was 15 I saw my mother killed in front of me in the name of that love.

I was the one who took her place, being beaten and sometimes harassed by my own father. I was almost sexually assaulted by my own father. I lived on the streets, taking several courses, and when I was home I was locked in my room with the wardrobe on my door so that that man wouldn't hurt me.

At 16 years I got my emancipation, making me judicially free. Then, with a suitcase full of courage and a few belongings, I went to a house that my mother owned in a community here in Rio de Janeiro. I finished school, got a good grade on the Enem exam, and got a scholarship for business administration. There I started an internship, which I stayed until a few months ago, which allowed me to move into the apartment I live in today.

Going through all of this judging to be alone was not easy. So much that I almost went into depression, but God is so kind and merciful and put Fernanda in my way and today I am a new woman, much happier and more fulfilled than ever. I have more facility to socialize, much more, I am communicative and a little crazy, I confess.

But if there is one thing I have learned is that all believers are crazy and in fact, we are not going to church, but to a mental hospital that is always having a party and has room for more.

"God knows all things, Nanda. Whatever will be will be, I trust my life to him."--- I speak between the hug, letting go of her.

"That's the way to talk."--- She gives me another one of her smiles, walking to the kitchen.

It is an American kitchen.

She had already arrived home from work along with her brother, who is now also mine, Thomas. Think of a handsome black man with green eyes, short hair, and a thin beard, that's him. Now we are just waiting for the handsome man to get out of the shower so we can have dinner.

I am starving to death, although this is not taken too seriously since I am always hungry. But in my defense, eating is very good, wonderful actually.

"What day do you have a rehearsal?"--- Fernanda asks, returning to my side with a glass of water.

"Wednesday. This week who manages the praise is the worship you." --- I tell her seeing her agree with a nod of the head..

I am part of the worship ministry, together with Thom, who is the leader of the church. It is a wonderful thing, I give myself body and soul singing my love for the Father. Without any doubt, singing is my passion, singing my love for God is the fulfillment of a dream.

When I am on the altar, I try to reach people in the same way that I was touched years ago, when I entered the church for the first time. Because music speaks to us in many moments, especially gospel music, which most of the time, if you stop to listen carefully, you will realize that it is God speaking to you.

This is why I surrender myself wholeheartedly, letting myself be used by my father when he thinks it is the right moment. I want more people to know this love and have their lives transformed, just like mine was the first time I entered that place.

I was distracted, talking to Nanda when my cell phone vibrates. I pick it up thinking it is just any message, but my heart stops when I see that it is an email from a company that I sent my resume to some time ago.

"Sis, an email arrived."--- I tell her excitedly, watching her smile expand.

I give the glass in my friend's hand, opening the email at the same moment feeling that my heart is going to burst out of my mouth at any moment.

~-~

De:Grupo.claro/[email protected]

Para: Luí[email protected].

Subject: A job interview.

Miss Garcia, we found your resume in our company's database and I confess that we were impressed. If you are still interested in the position, we invite you to come to our headquarters on 03/02/2021 (Tuesday) at 09:00 am for an interview.

Sincerely, Grupo Claro.

~-~

By the time I finished reading the text, I was jumping more than anything. I am happy, very happy. It is a door being opened, an opportunity that couldn't come at a better time.

Tell me if this God is not too perfect.

Fernanda hugs me and we start jumping together, excited by the news. The happiness of one is the happiness of the other. I kept saying out loud that I had an interview, repeating it over and over until it seemed real, because I still don't believe it.

In the midst of the unemployment crisis that the country is in, nothing is fairer than celebrating an interview. An interview that, God willing, I will pass and will be employed.

The secret is to know how to see happiness in small gestures and never stop having faith, this is for sure the most important thing.

"What happiness is this?" - Thom's voice made us stop jumping to observe him.

"Guess who has a job interview?"--- I returned the question, seeing a smile on his lips almost as big as mine.

I love how we share all the feelings, in the same intensity.

I run to his lap and he picks me up, hugging me tightly as we celebrate this achievement.

"What day will it be, little one?"--- He asks affectionately, putting me down again.

My relationship with them is like that, brother to brother. Thom calls me little, and I am always varying the nicknames, there is never a right one. But what is more certain than anything is the love we feel for each other. When this changes, it becomes even stronger and more intense.

"Day 03"--- Nanda answers for me, coming close to us.

"Tomorrow" - she affirms - "What time?" "Where?" - she asks after a while, filling me with her questions.

"At nine at the branch of the Claro group. That construction company near your building."--- I answer right away and only then do I have time to process what he said and only then do I realize the day of the interview.

I widen my eyes, running to the kitchen behind those little sheets of paper. When I look at the date, I confirm that he is indeed right, the interview is tomorrow.

Wow, that was fast. Not that I'm complaining, for me it's too good.

"I'll catch a ride with you guys tomorrow, Nanda's company is close to mine anyway"---I look at my friend who agrees.--- "Now let's eat, I need to sleep early to go beautiful and beautiful after my blessing."

I send a little kiss to them who laugh but agree with me.

I start to place my plate, watching my brothers imitate my act. We sit down on the island of the countertop, hold hands and pray in thanksgiving for the food, for the day that we have completed. But most of all thank Him for having Him in our lives.

We tasted the dish and I have to confess, this stroganoff was a knockout. After reading it, the conversation flowed freely, while we ate as a family we are with the certainty that we have the best company of all. And it is in moments as simple as these that I am sure that everything was worthwhile, and even if I could, I wouldn't change anything in my story.

♡Luísa Garcia♡

Time passed quickly and before I knew it I was on my way back to my apartment to do one of my favorite things during the day. My time with Abba is without a doubt the most important part and the one I look forward to during the day.

I can't explain the great feeling it brings me, how much it seems to renew me and at the end of each of our moments, I feel like a new person, a new woman. God always renews me and gives me the privilege of his sweet presence.

I say goodbye to my brothers, after helping with the dishes, wishing them a good night and reminding them that tomorrow they will have company in the car. It costs nothing to remember, they are very forgetful.

I take a shower, putting on some fresh clothes. A knee-length dress, of soft fabric with a light color and flower details, a beautiful and delicate thing, just the way I love it, just the way I am. I took my guitar and my Bible and went to the balcony of my living room.