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Die Drowning With My Ruin

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My heart was hollow when I received the pain. The feelings I had been harboring melted away with the tears that came out of my eyes. Embracing the wounds, diving into dreams fresher than real life, and carrying a fake smile on my lips. Everything dissolved and merged into a different me. And this is when I try to be strong, struggling to find the faint pieces of my heart, to patch up the wounds that have long settled. And this is my story when I met him.

Chapter 1 : Stranger In October

Lizzie's Pov

Lately, I often think that I'm dying. Then I realized there was no one who could help me. I'm alone, trapped somewhere in the dark. If something like that happens, what must I do?

I smiled bitterly when I had the answer to my own question. Of course, I can't expect a handsome knight to suddenly come help me, nor can I expect a miracle, all I can do is rely on my own strength. I must try even harder to find a way out of my problem. I have to think even harder to outsmart my way out of this heartbreaking situation.

Then, I gasped when I got a gentle shake on my shoulder. When I turned my head and realized who had done that to me. I blinked my eyes.

Oliver smiled at me. "Want some more coffee?"

That's when I realized the coffee in my cup was gone. But I shook my head, I felt like I'd had enough. I looked at Oliver again, then said, "No, thank you."

"Are you sure?"

I chuckled. "Do you always say that to your customers when they've finished their coffee and haven't left yet?"

"I'm not kicking you out, Lizzie." Oliver shook his head. "I'm just offering you coffee. My question was very clear."

"And I already said no to you," I said, then smiled. "My answer was very clear."

Oliver laughed. His dimples were visible. "Well, call me if you need anything, I'm at the counter."

"I know."

I looked at Oliver, who was leaving. Then I shook my head. I picked up my pen and notebook, preparing to write again.

"You know what?"

I looked up when I heard Oliver's voice. I looked at him again, feeling both confused and curious.


Oliver didn't come any closer, only three steps away from me. He seemed to be talking from there. I waited for him to speak. I looked at him closely, but he didn't say anything. My forehead wrinkled, and my mind was already wondering, while Oliver at this time even looked hesitant. What's wrong with him?

"Nothing, just continue what you want to do." Oliver then turned around when he said that to me.

I hadn't given any answers yet. He was acting very strange, but I chose to shake my head, trying not to think about him.

And just as I was about to write, it suddenly started raining. It's October, fall, and the weather has been quite dark lately. I stare outside through the window, looking at the trees with red leaves, which are currently swaying in the wind. I smiled slightly.

Right now, I am the only customer in Oliver's shop. At first, I thought so, but suddenly the bell on the door rang, which meant that someone had just opened the door. I turned my head to investigate, and I saw who had come.

A man walked into the shop. He was wearing a black hoodie with a hood covering his head, so I couldn't see his face. His hands were in the pockets of the hoodie. He was wearing blue jeans and shoes. His steps sounded steady as he approached the counter to meet Oliver.

And after that, I ignore him and focus on what I'm doing right now. I write down the ideas that come to me in a notebook. My hand instinctively picked up the coffee cup, which was currently empty.

That's when I realized that I needed more coffee. Oliver was right. Maybe that's why he double-checked if I really didn't need more coffee. I suddenly felt ashamed of myself. Unfortunately, it's raining, and the air is cold. I need something warm. I'm currently wearing quite thick clothes, I'm wearing a cardigan, but it's not enough. I want coffee right now. Again.

"Oliver!" I called out to the shopkeeper. I raised my hand slightly.

It wasn't just Oliver who turned his head, but the stranger in the hoodie also looked at me. Did my voice sound too loud? I don't think so. I felt a bit embarrassed. Moreover, the stranger was looking at me with a serious look in his eyes.

I was misbehaving at the moment. I clenched my fists tightly. I swallowed my saliva. Why do I have to behave like this?

"What's wrong? Do you need help?"

"Yes." I hurriedly shook my head. "No, I don't need help." I corrected my words as I shook my head. "I just..."

"Need more coffee?" Oliver asked. He knew what I was thinking. I felt an attack of embarrassment rush through my body. My cheeks felt hot, which I was sure was followed by a blush that started to spread.

Because coffee was exactly what I needed right now. I nodded.

"I'll make another one for you, just wait at your place."

I nodded. "Thanks."

I went back to my busy schedule. I need to finish writing down my ideas for my unfinished novel material soon. If I don't write them down now, I'm pretty sure my ideas will just disappear. And that's unfortunate. I don't want that to happen again.

"Excuse me, here's your coffee, miss."

It wasn't Oliver who came. I froze for a moment as I stared at the man in the hoodie standing next to me as he handed me a cup of coffee. I'm shocked and haven't recovered from this yet. I stared at him for a long time, pensive, with my eyes wide open without blinking.


"Oh, I'm sorry." I shook my head softly. I quickly took my ordered coffee cup from his hand. "Thanks."

"You're welcome. I asked him to let me deliver your coffee." He continued while pointing at Oliver, who was focused on nothing at the counter. "That's if you're wondering."

"That's what was on my mind." I laughed a little to get rid of the awkwardness. "But, thank you."

"You already said that just now."

"Oh..." I grimaced softly. I felt embarrassed. Why did I act so stupidly anyway? Gosh, what's wrong with me? "Sorry."

He smiled at me. "Can I sit here?"

I looked to my right and left. There were many empty seats-too many, in fact. Only me, Oliver, and him were here. And why did he choose to sit with me? I wondered to myself, I still hadn't given him an answer.

"I just don't feel like sitting alone, my mind is always thinking of unnecessary things if I'm allowed to daydream." He laughed softly.

The stranger had answered what was on my mind.

"If you mind, it's okay, I can move and find another seat." He said before that I could respond.

"No, no, it's fine, you can sit with me. Please."

"Thanks, you don't mind, do you?"

"Yes." I tried to be friendly. I smiled. I didn't have the heart to refuse his wishes, especially since he had just brought my coffee order, even though I needed solitude right now.

I want nothing but peace and quiet. That's the only thing I need from this cruel life.

And luckily, I've managed to jot down all the ideas that pop into my head in my notebook. If he asked me to talk, I didn't feel too bothered. My original intention was to continue writing my novel here, but I left my laptop behind. Even throughout the trip, my dad, who drove me, didn't remember it. And luckily, I didn't feel at a loss for what to do.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm just taking notes," I said, shaking the book in my hand.

"What are you taking notes on?"

"Ah, this..." I struggled for words. I needed time to come up with the right answer.

"I'm sorry, I seem to be asking too many questions when we just met." He laughed

"It's nothing." I replied immediately. "I usually write down whatever comes into my head in my book."


"Yeah, I just felt like it needed to be done." I smiled slightly. "Before everything evaporates, I forget what I was thinking. So yeah, I wrote everything down."

"That's really pretty awesome."

I nodded as I reached for my coffee cup. "Thanks. What was your name?"

"No, I didn't say my name. Sorry, I forgot." He rubbed his hands on the hoodie he was wearing as if they were dirty. Then he held it out to me. "I'm Ben."

"Nice to meet you, Ben." I reached out and shook his hand. "I'm Elizabeth, you can call me Lizzie."

"Nice to meet you too, Lizzie. I like your name."

I chuckled softly. "Really?"



"So, you're a writer, huh?" Ben asked after he took a sip of his coffee.

"That's right, how did you know?"

"I'm just guessing, you said you like to write down whatever comes into your head in your book. I think you must be jotting down ideas that you find interesting. And writers usually do that. That's pretty awesome."

"Your way of thinking is cool." I replied quietly. Ben laughed at my words.

"It's just a coincidence that my guess wasn't wrong. But thanks for complimenting me." Ben laughed sweetly. "By the way, what's the title of your book, Lizzie? Is it in bookstores yet?"

I didn't have time to answer Ben's question when I saw a car that I recognized just parked in front of the shop. It was my dad's car. He had picked me up. What time is it? I looked at my watch. Oh, how appropriate!

I hurriedly organized my things to put them in my bag. My hurried movements seemed to have caught Ben's attention.

"What's wrong, Lizzie?"

"My dad has picked me up. It's time for me to go home." I answered without looking at Ben.

My movements were too hasty, even though I didn't need to do that until I made a mistake, oh no, or rather, I made a problem.

A problem that I think is fatal, and I shouldn't do it. Because this is really, really bad and terrible.

Chapter 2 : Because I Can't Do Anything

Lizzie's Pov

I'm so careless. I made a mistake that I shouldn't have made. I'm usually picked up by my dad, I even see him every day, but why am I in such a hurry right now? Even though my dad used to pick me up at Oliver's shop at 4 p.m. I don't understand myself.

Do you know what I did? I just nudged my coffee cup off the table, and it hit the floor, shattering the glass. It was so loud. It startled me. Ben was also taken aback. In my opinion, this was a terrible mistake on my part. I didn't act carefully.

"Oh my God!" I squealed softly. I wanted to get off the chair immediately to clean up the broken cups that were now scattered on the floor, but I couldn't do it even if I wanted to. I had a problem with myself.

"It's okay, Lizzie." Ben quickly shifted his chair back, then got down and started picking up the large broken cup.

"What's going on here?" Oliver appeared from the kitchen. He ran hurriedly with a panicked face and wanted to know what was go


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