My Stepbrother- Too Hot To Handle
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"We can....not do... this," Dabby's voice trembled as she stared at his pretty eyes. She wondered how one could be so elegantly proportioned. "I do not think so, Dabby. Never really been a stickler for rules," his deep voice resonated irresistibly in her ears, and they sent tremors down her body to churn down her belly. 'Just how could she be this screwed?' Dabby knew better than not to stay away from her stepbrother, not when he bullied, and was determined to make her life miserable. He was HOT! And HOT-tempered. Not when she was the kind of girl he could never be seen around with. Not when he hated that they were now family, and that they attended the same school. But, she can't. Perhaps, a two week honeymoon vacation with they by themselves, was going to flip their lives forever.
Michelle Brian Bailey
So far so good. The way the page is structured it’s kind of hard to read. I feel like it needs to be broken into paragraphs and the quotations should be on their own lines as well. As well as the grammar, and on occasion when the author writes the wrong name. But the overall story thus far is not too bad. I look forward to watching mason and Dabby tormenting Damien with their relationship. Perhaps things will be serious for them…or not.
March 14, 2024
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