Shattered Roses

One... Niko said he loved me, but love shouldn't hurt like this. His hands, once warm, became fists. Every bruise told me he owned me.

Two... Dimitri’s voice was sweet like honey when he said he’d protect me. But there was always a price, always a whispered threat behind the smile.

Three... Niko’s rage came quickly, like a storm. He didn’t need a reason. He said it was my fault, that I provoked him.

Four… Dimitri’s control was quieter, a trap I didn’t see until I was caught in it. He never yelled, never raised a hand—but he owned me in other ways.

Five… Niko shattered me, piece by piece, and every time I thought I couldn’t break any more, he found a new way to hurt me.

Six… Dimitri told me I was free. Free to choose, free to live. But every choice led back to him. His freedom was a lie.

Seven... Niko dragged me back, even when I ran. He would find me, punish me. My body was his to command.

Eight... Dimitri was always watching, always waiting. He never had to chase me—I always found my way back to him, no matter how hard I tried to resist.

Nine... Niko said I would never leave him, that I was his forever. But I knew one day, if I stayed, he would kill me.

Ten… And Dimitri? He whispered in my ear, softly, lovingly. He didn’t need to kill me. He knew I’d die inside, bit by bit, as long as I was his.

I count, over and over, hoping one day the numbers will stop. Hoping that one day, the counting will end with freedom.​

~|~

~He Loves Me, He Breaks Me~

I knew something was wrong the first time he smiled at me. That smile... it wasn’t real. But I fell for it anyway, like a fool. Maybe because I didn’t know better. Maybe because I wanted it to be real.

Love. Yeah, that word people throw around like it’s candy. Like it doesn’t have teeth. But I learned too late that love bites, and once it sinks in, it never lets go.

Niko was everything. I swear, the moment I met him, my heart dropped. He was a rough around the edges kind of guy and a smooth talker, but he had a way of making me feel like I was the only person in the room. Like I mattered. And God, I wanted to matter.

But then, something weird happened. It's always kinda sneaky at first, right? A word that cuts a little too deep. A look that makes you question everything. It happened so fast I couldn’t catch my breath. One minute, I was his world, and the next, I was the thing he needed to control.

But it wasn’t just Niko. Oh no, there was Dimitri too—his best friend, the guy who stood behind it all, watching, waiting. He was always there, like some kind of creepy guardian angel. I thought he was different. But they’re the same, aren’t they? All of them.

I used to be strong. I swear I was. I had dreams once. Things I wanted to do, places I wanted to go. Now I can’t even remember what it feels like to want something that isn’t him.

But here’s the thing they don’t tell you—when love becomes a weapon, it’s impossible to see it coming. By the time you realize, it’s already too late.

I keep replaying that moment, that first time Niko grabbed my arm a little too tight. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. But maybe... maybe this is just how love works?

No.

I know it’s not. But that’s the thing, right? He’s convinced me otherwise. He’s inside my head, making me question every d*mn thing I thought I knew. I used to be so sure of myself, but now? Now, I can’t even trust my own thoughts.

"You’re mine, Callista," he says, with that smile that’s all thirty-two and no warmth. And for a second, just a second, I believe him. Like maybe being his is enough. Maybe if I just give in—completely—he’ll stop breaking me.

But that’s the trick. Niko’s good at making you feel like you owe him. Like the pain is your fault. And Dimitri? God, Dimitri makes it worse. He watches with those cold eyes, like he’s waiting for me to crack. Waiting for me to finally admit that I need him more than I need Niko.

And it’s sick. It’s all so d*mn sick. Because I do. I need them both.

But I hate them both, too.

Before Niko, there was only quiet. A small apartment. College classes I didn’t care about. Friends who never really understood me. I used to think I was invisible. Maybe that’s why I fell for him so fast. He saw me when no one else did.

I was working at this café, barely scraping by. That day was as stupid as it could get. And then Niko walked in. He had this way of filling a room without even trying. He ordered black coffee, nothing fancy. I remember thinking that was strange. Most guys like him wanted something complicated, something to show off.

Not Niko.

He looked at me with those eyes—dark, deep, like they could see through all the scars I tried so hard to keep hidden. He asked me for my name, and I gave it to him without thinking. Like it was something I was supposed to do. Like it was his right to know it.

I remember the first time he touched me. A hand on my back, just light enough to send chills all over my body. It felt like a warning. But I didn’t listen. I was too caught up in the moment, in the way he made me feel seen.

Now? I wish I could go back and shake myself. Tell that version of me to run. To get away before he got inside my head. But it’s too late. He’s already there.

"I love you, Callista," he whispers in the dark with his hand resting on my neck like a weight. And I want to believe him. God, I want to believe him. But the bruises on my arms, the ache in my chest, they tell a different story.

I don’t leave the apartment much anymore. Not since Niko moved in. He doesn’t like it when I go out alone. Says it’s for my own safety. Says the world is too dangerous for someone like me.

But what he really means is that I’m too dangerous.

It’s funny, you know? I used to think I could handle anything. But now I can’t even handle myself.

The worst part? It’s not even the bruises. It’s the waiting. Waiting for him to snap again. Waiting for the next time he’ll decide I need to be reminded of my place. And Demetri? He never stops watching. Each day he comes by, talks to Niko about things guys talk about. Always watching, observing us, observing me. Like he’s waiting for his turn. Waiting for me to break enough that I’ll fall into his arms instead.

I can’t win. I can’t escape.

I thought I could leave once. I really did. I packed a bag, threw on my coat, and made it halfway to the door. And then Niko came home early.

"Where do you think you’re going?" His voice was calm. Too calm. That’s when you know it’s bad. When he doesn’t shout. When he just... waits.

I stood there like an idiot, my hand on the doorknob, frozen in place. And all he had to do was step forward. Just one step, and I dropped the bag.

I dropped it because I knew. I knew he’d never let me go.

Now, I lie here, in our bed, staring at the ceiling, trying not to cry. Trying not to breathe too loudly, because if I do, he might wake up. And if he wakes up...

No. I can’t think about that.

But I do. I think about it all the time.

I think about how easy it would be to just... disappear.

But disappearing doesn’t mean I’d be free.

No, in Niko’s world, disappearing means he’d hunt me down. And Dimitri? He’d probably help.

So I stay. I stay because I don’t have a choice.

I stay because he loves me.

But God, I wish he didn’t.

My phone buzzes from across the room. I can see the screen light up in the darkness. It’s Dimitri. I don’t have to look to know it’s him. He only texts me late at night.

He says he’s checking on me. But I know better.

—

💀Mairee's Fun Fact: Callista is named and partially modeled after the character Callisto in Xena: The Warrior Princess. I'm currently rewatching for the 12th time hehe and she's my fav character!​

Sometimes, I think it’s easier to just... stop thinking. To let it all go. Let myself disappear into the fog that surrounds me whenever he’s near. I’m not me when he kisses me. I’m someone else. Someone broken.

It's a Sunday morning so he's at home. Sometimes even when he has to go to work on weekends for emergencies, he still chooses to stay. For my sake, he says. To protect me and spend quality time with me, he says.

Niko’s hand is on my cheek, soft for once. His eyes search mine, but I know better than to believe whatever lie they’re telling me today.

"I’m sorry," he whispers. "I don’t mean to hurt you."

I want to believe him. I want to sink into his apology like it’s a lifeline. But I can’t. I’ve been here before, haven’t I? So many times, I’ve lost count.

"Do you forgive me, Callista?" His voice is low, with a gritty tone to it. And I know that if I say no, I’ll regret it.

"I... I forgive you."

There’s that smile again. The one that use