
THE LOVE I MUST HATE
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My name is Lisa and I am only attracted to girls. I realized that since the day I began to feel my genitalia. But no one must know about it; not when I live in a religious girls' high school. It is considered unholy to love a fellow girl. It is against the school rules, and a rumor about it will result in the expulsion of the involved students. I wouldn't want to be expelled. I fear the humiliation it holds and the disappointment it might bring to my parents. My parents sent me to this religious school for a sort of cleansing from my abominable choice of sexuality. Although they failed to understand I didn't choose to like girls, I do not want to be expelled back to them or see them hurt more than they are hurting. So, I dwelled in secret; surviving the co-habitation of other girls until Uriel came along. I couldn't resist Uriel's sweet sculpted face, endowed body figure, and perfect curvy lips. I couldn't withstand her charm. So, I decided to risk everything and have that 'unholy' relationship with her. For Uriel, I could face the world and fight, but I didn't consider if Uriel would want the same. After I kissed her and confessed my feelings, I saw maybe, just maybe, I should have remained in the closet and had my secret buried with me. Uriel received me with disgust, exposed me to everyone, and had me expelled from school. My life turned left. I hated myself for years and ended up living in lies about liking men. Now she is back, apologizing and professing her undying love. Should I believe she reappeared to love me right? Should I embrace my unquenched feelings for her or take on the revenge I've always wanted?
Chapter 1: BEFORE I GOT NUTS
Disclaimer!!
This book contains explicit sexual content. If you fancy a romantic, one-sided or abusive relationship between females, then read at your own discretion.
If you are underage or unwilling to experience unrestrained sexuality, do not read this book.
You have been alerted. Nevertheless, if you choose to proceed and find yourself offended or disturbed, either by the characters' age, plot or setting, do not blame the author.
However, THE LOVE I MUST HATE was neither written to promote abusive relationships nor underage s*x. It was created to encourage self-love, confidence and forgiveness.
I hope you enjoy the ride!!
PS: If you have read and enjoyed 'HIM ALL ALONG', trust me, this is going to be much better. And for my first-time readers, I implore you to give HIM ALL ALONG a shot, you won't regret your time.
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POV: LISA:
“Lisa!”
I scowl on hearing my name. I welcome everything but to be screamed up like that and no, I won't answer to such a calling.
“Lisa!”
I ignored whoever it may be and returned to cleaning the medical equipment on the table. I have only a few minutes to finish before joining the other hailing students at the school field.
I am neither a medical practitioner nor a student. I am barely eighteen and a student at ‘Louis Nobis Girls High School’. As the infirmarian, I am the superintendent of the clinic in the absence of Reverend Sarah, the school nurse.
Although I have no plans of becoming a doctor or nurse, I was awarded the post on the merit of my emotional attachment toward students.
“You are the most caring and loving of them all,” Reverend Therese would always tell me.
No, I am not as caring and loving as everyone believes. I only feel obliged to care for those I find pretty and s*xy.
You heard me and please, do not say that to anyone.
Schooling in an environment filled with girls in their prime, I struggled daily to remain unaffected by their beauty. And to keep my affection in check, I hide behind being kind to everyone, living in pretense and lies.
Whereby the Reverend Sisters believed my lies, they made me the infirmary prefect and here I am, cleaning the clinic tools and counting the days I get freed from the disgusting smell of drugs and disinfectants.
“Lisa!’’
The door banged open and the screamer rushed in.
“Lisa…” she held her knees to catch her breath. “Lisa...’’ Another attempt to speak failed.
“What now, Gabby?" I asked uninterestingly, still wiping the blood-stained forceps.
And that, I hate the smell of blood.
“Uriel…” Gabby coughed and that name had me looking up at her with instant enthusiasm. “She...’’
“What happened to Uriel?” I dropped the forceps and took to my feet.
“She is bleeding...and…’’
I ran out as fast as I could, abandoning the shuttering Gabby, disregarding the rules not to leave any student alone in the clinic without my presence.
I collided with students as I raced to the school field aiming to nothing but to find Uriel.
You see, running within the premises is against the rules. At Louis Nobis, we are expected to walk as holy as the Reverend sisters at all times; even when pressed to the butt.
I understand the effect of a senior breaking the rules, but what can I do when Uriel is bleeding out there? Gabby who also felt the urgency ran her way to me. So we shouldn't be blamed.
I dashed into the field, onto the paused match. The hailing from earlier has ended and students gathered in circles, murmuring and panicking.
There is an ongoing intra-contest among the four hostels in the school. The Blue, Green, Red, and Yellow hostels are all in a tough soccer competition, playing their best for the prize.
The Green and the Red hostels are scheduled to play in the evening while the Yellow and Blue hotels will score for the winner this morning.
The two winning hotels at the end of the day would compete with each other next Saturday, and the final winning hostel would be crowned the QUEEN hostel of the year. This implies that students boarding in the Queen Hostel are free from school labor and other internal work until the end of the school session.
It is a big deal for students to take the crown. No one likes to be summoned for labor or called out for minor chores. Every student wishes for labor relief so, they boost the energy of their players by cheering out their gullets and hoping for a miracle.
Uriel among other spectators, had gone to the field to support their team. Too bad she got more than she bargained for; and worse, the match is on hold for her injury.
Who is Uriel you asked? Well, she is a junior and my mentee. The truth is that I see her beyond my junior and mentee. She means more than I can explain and right now, I need to see her bleeding face before I go nuts.
Chapter 2: SHE NEEDS NO ONE ELSE
LISA:
“Uriel!’’
Students turned to my voice, parted an entrance for me and I went into the crowd and before Uriel.
Her face was lifted backward. She was nose-bleeding, I supposed, and that seemed like a lot of blood judging from her stained sports uniform.
“Uriel?” I touched her face and she opened her eyes to see me. “Hey…” I whispered.
“Senior Lisa,” she exhaled happily.
I could see the revival in her eyes. She must have waited too long for me and I confirmed it when she gripped my hand and began to shed tears. All the emotions she was subduing overflowed at my presence.
“Who did this to you?” I cupped her head but her sobbing state couldn’t help her stay still.
“Who was the player?” I turned to the shaking students. “Who kicked the ball?!’’ I yelled and they all pointed to the bad player.
“I am sorry, senior Lisa,” Miriam shook in fear. “I didn’t mean to break her nose.”
“What? Her nose is broken?” I lowered over