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I gave her everything she ever wanted. My only wish was she got to live and enjoy life the way she ever dreamt. Isn't it funny how the one we called the safest place left us homeless? Funny how people have guts to do it. Killing the one they love and executed it perfectly with no atom of remorse. I was brave but broken, brave but scarred. I was brave but wounded. Nobody knows anything about the saddened smile The bleeding wounds that refused healing. All my laughter said the same thing: This isn't how it's supposed to be. All my grief repeatedly yelled out the same thing; this isn't how it's supposed to be. How did she do it? How did she find fun toying with the feelings she said she cared and cherished more than her life? Did she find it amusing to watch the one she loved go back and forth like a pathetic dog on a leash, awaiting freedom. Like a creepy freak, she discard me like a used syringe, She humiliated me. Leaving me in the darkness to fight off the demons she created. Why did she do it? Writing lovely poems and not meant any single phrase? There are some kinds of pains that externally clung on us, like a stubborn stain on a white fabric they refused to wash away. They are scarred and bruised. Just when i thought i was feeling better, i felt myself falling again into the dark abyss. I will burn all the letters i wrote, i will burn all the poems i wrote about you, all the happy moment we spent together collecting wishful stars, dreaming and building our future together. I will burn every memories of us and i hope you follow the smoke, it will lead you to the heart you broken. I hope you realized how cruel you are to shred into pieces the only heart that cares and adores you. Was i right? The first time i saw you, you smelt like trauma awaiting to happen but i ignored my instincts now I'm lost in my light. 🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁 I don't know the demon you are running away from, you better stop and face them because when they catch up with you, it won't just be you who gets caught up in the fallout.

Chapter 1: Clue of my past

This is purely a work of fiction. Names, characters, organizations, and incidents are either a product of my morbid imagination or fictitiously worded and drafted.

Any resemblance to an actual person, place, event, or incident, living or dead is purely coincidental and does not represent their real-life counterparts.

I greatly appreciate your reads, votes, comments, and support!



Today was the Prestigious Artists Award (PAA) a yearly Award.

It has been three years since I move to Canada, three fucking years. That was the second hardest decision of my life; the first I didn't want to talk about it because it brought back sad memories to me, I hate that I always remember it, it isn't worth it but my heart won't cooperate with me. It never listens.

Come on man your job is to pump blood but that bitch won't heed my word.

Standing in the mirror while tucking my white shirt; SHIT!!!! It brought back memories,l remembered when my Louis Vuitton white shirt was messed up with that fucking cup of coffee from that miserable girl. I sigh as the thought runs through me, the shock in her eyes and her stuttering lips while saying her "goddammit! Sorry! Sorry, that didn't cross her heart.

I hate her shem! I picked my long tie and walked down to my parlour and there was my best friend and brother staring at me with a smile on his face.

"You look good man." He compliments me.

Damnit!!! He is always acting cute. Well, he is so I don't mind.

"You seriously don't want to come, dude?"I asked as I strode down the stairs and he shook his head.

I scoffed. He is tired. Who wouldn't, not after staying all night just to audition those boys? Gosh!!! I wonder where Hwang-Min packed those boys from; their dance was nothing to write home about and their voice.... OMG! I nearly broke my screen in anger, I just can't stand their horrible performances I have to ball out. I needed peace and I deserved it.

Looking at Ji-Min now, he must be tired so I'm attending without him; an Award I've been nominated for two good solid years and I couldn't win because of that girl I don't know her though, I hate social media because they ruined my life. I have things that keep me busy so I don't care what the media says after having such a horrible experience with them. So searching for her name and knowing her is what I didn't want to do even though the urge was always there.

Well, I'm attending but I don't want miserable headlines with my name as the sole headliner. Every horrible thing was said to me on social media so being there was a big no for me, for a good four years I balled out from social media that was when I found personal peace. Don't worry about me not knowing how my businesses were run and promoted on the Net; I'm a prestigious CEO and Artist so my workers,  managers, and PA handles the Media Job.

Back to that girl who has been winning this PAA in all categories, I'm always nominated along with her, I don't know her though but her name gives me nightmares every year-end.

Imagine waking up with the headlines that say Hobified Mind is nominated as a best music video director in the same category as Kathryn Howard, for heaven sake, and she always swept it in one goal. Her name bores me off. Remember trying to look up her name when she won me in the best New Rookie of the PAA. That was another worst year of my life and to think I was in attendance and she wasn't. Such a big boss she just has to relax at home and her Award would be sent to her house.

That was my first time moving to Canada and attending the Awards show.

My bad!! You must be wondering why I changed my professor, and company name from Sound-Mind to Hobified-Mind, well, my reputation was ruined by the woman I love back in Korea. In fact, the whole world was against me so I had to go into hiding and halt all my social media activities. I wanted a new life so it comes with a new company name Hobified-Mind.

The day I told my brothers I was moving and relocating to Canada, they couldn't believe it; Well, that will be another story for another day, but for now, let's go to PAA and kick some ass. And if you are wondering why I'm sounding Ghetto like, don't worry I have a lot to unfold on how my life had been this past five years.

My name, KANG HO-SEOK.

"Hwang-Min" I scream as I pick up my car keys and my phone, and walking towards the door while Ji-Min plonked himself on the chaise sectional couch.

"Go to your room, Jiminah, and don't you dare skip breakfast...I promise Jin-Seok hyung to take care of you."

Gosh, I love that man Jin-Seok. He has always been my backbone, sticking with me through thick and thin. He's always that shoulder I've been leaning on since I started my career.

I walked up to my car; you won't deny I looked breath-taking in my Louis Vuitton suit with my designed black shoes. The ladies' men. I chuckled as I entered the car.

I swear if Hwang-Min won't come now and drive me to that event I might kick his groin. Wonder what is keeping him long. Gosh!! that bighead loves getting on my last nerves. I groan and lean my head backward on the passenger headrest.

I won't blame him though, since the day I was nominated, I have been contemplating if I should attend or skip as usual since seeing who I was nominated within the same category.

Ever since last night, he has asked me if we are attending and I give him a big NO, not even Jason could talk me into attending. However, just this morning I decided to give it a trial; it had been long since I made a public appearance; not my fault though. I went to Hiatus. Hiatus!!! I chuckled. Yes, a self-forced Hiatus. I low-key hide myself from everyone.

"I'm sorry, sir...." I heard a cooing sound and I must say that's Hwang-Min. God! He is always sorry.

"Shut the fuck up and drive man," I said running my fingers across my well-styled raven hair. I better don't tousled it and end up looking like a wet dirty duckling.

The car accelerates and we hit the road. I have this urge to search for that name Kathryn Howard, I mean I need to know why she is always kicking my ass in Awards. Do I need to remind you I haven't won any Awards since the day I was been nominated? Well, Madam Kathryn always whopping my ass so bad. I feel sad.

So since I refused to search the Media and Goggles to know who Kathryn Howard was, I don't know what she looks like; Well, from the PAA information, she is a new Artist and Director; Rookie to be precise, and the fact she has been sweeping Awards ever since she was nominated. Won five  Rookie in a year, and has some Awards in her name both the monthly and yearly Awards of the PAA, she is always there. I think she is the most Awarded Artist in PAA History. The industry really does love her.

I pick up my phone, remembering I already vowed never to return to Social Media, I dropped it back in my pocket, picked up my headphones, and just as I was about to listen to some Radio station music, y'all won't believe what I heard.

"The PAA Award show is today and our all-time Most Awarded Artist Kathryn Howard is going all out for her red carpet." That was the Radio station announcing the PAA Red carpet.

Didn't I just say the Media hate me; Well you can see for yourself. I'm never running away from them. The cheers were giving me headache and my ears hurt. Goodness sake!!! I just can't stand them.

I removed my headphones and tossed them to heaven knows where, Kathryn Howard is attending and she is all out for her red Carpet. God! Who is she? The industry plant? How can they twist it like she owns the red carpet and shows, making other Artists attending to look inferior... Gosh! I hate the Media and Bloggers.

Well for you guys information, I'm skipping the red carpet. Don't ask me why? I have a past and my presence will trigger some Media and their horrible headlines. I want to enjoy this Award Show, meet new people, and sign some Upcoming Artists because I know they will be found lurking around the Arena for some deals and collaboration. I'm not just here for the Awards I'm building my career from scratch again, remember I have a horrible past that almost ruin me

Chapter 2: Under the weather


"Excellent, now turn on the other side, chin up, hip pushed backward, left hand curved upward closer to the face and slightly covering one eye, gorgeous."

I wind down my car windscreen just to take a look at the gorgeous artists posing for the Media. Tsk! Tsk!! tsk!!! One mistake I would rather not make in this life is posing for the Media ever again.

Everywhere was bubbling with some hot-looking artists; They all went out in their all for the show. The popular ones are being crowded and the upcoming ones are having it their way trying to fit in as they should and I'm pretty sure the most crowded scene should be that of Kathryn Howard; my worst nightmares.

My car slows down and those bunch of losers rushed to my side all with their flashlight ready to take a picture of their clout. I swear if Hwang-Min doesn't move far from them, he will definitely lose his job and I meant it this time.

Luckily the crack head Hwang-Min understand me and dro


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