I Have Waited for You

_Meghan

"Meghan, hurry up honey, we 're going to be late," Ben said, standing at our bedroom door.

I looked at myself in the mirror, still not sure about my outfit.

"Do you think this dress is too short?"

"Yes, No. I mean you look perfect, come on now, let's go." he was growing impatient with my going back and forth.

Ben and I had been dating for over a year now and engaged for the past four months.

In all that time, Vivian, Bens's mother never failed to bring up the fact that my work in a strip club was a disgrace to her family, let alone to 'proper' women. And not once did Ben defend me. He shrugged whenever I brought it up.

"She's old fashion like that."

That was all he said about the matter.

"Baby, why are we even going? you know your mother hates me." I tried again, without much hope.

"My mother doesn't hate you, you are the most lovable human being I know, she would be a fool not to love you."

She could have fooled me. But then again, he always defended her.

Always.

It was no secret that the Dosters were disappointed in me being their son's choice for a life partner, going to their family mansion always ended in disaster.

The nights have either ended with Vivian storming out during the meal or throwing things in the air.

My stomach twisted in knots at the thought of spending another evening under Vivian's hawk-like eyes.

We drove in silence. I could already feel the tell tales of a headache coming.

As we approached the mansion, I was reminded of how well-off the Doster family was. The mansion was imposing and intimidating. Although beautifully furnished. I knew how cold it was inside.

Vivian stood at the top of the steps to welcome us. Her smile was broad as she hugged her only son warmly and it quickly disappeared as she offered me a cold handshake.

Let the games begin.

"Dinner will be served on the Terrence tonight, the weather calls for it." She led the way to the charming outdoor setting. She was being extra accommodating tonight. Better than when we last met.

Outside on the lounging chairs, John was talking to a blonde Barbie that I had never seen before. She was pretty, in a snobbish sort of way. The kind that would bore me to tears.

"I invited Lisa to come and join us for dinner, hope you two don't mind," Vivian stated cooly looking at me.

I caught a glimpse of Ben's horrified look before he recovered his composure.

John, forever the good host, greeted us with drinks.

"It's good to see you again Lisa," Ben said stiffly.

"Good to see you too Ben." she smiled up at him.

Vivian looked at the pair with an adoring smile.

"Ben and Lisa were high school sweethea-"

"Mom please stop," he cut her mid-sentence. His cheeks burned with embarrassment.

"Meghan doesn't need to know all about my past relationships." He put his hand on my thigh and squeezed it.

Vivian saw his reassuring gesture and chuckled.

"I can assure you, Meghan, Lisa is very present. I don't think there's any point in trying to hide it now."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"Lisa tells me that she and Ben met at the Launch in Paris a few months ago. Thanks to that meeting, I have my first grandson on the way." Vivian supplied proudly.

The color drained from Ben's face and he looked at me. "Oh. Ben never mentioned anything to me." I said looking at Ben's ashen face.

I'm sure I must have looked like a ghost as well as I sat there like part of the furniture, processing what Vivian had just said.

"I meet so many people at the Launch, it probably slipped my mind." He said, sounding like he was speaking from inside a wine barrel and not next to me.

I tried to take a sip from my glass but the drink turned into acid in my throat. I was afraid if I stayed any moment longer, I would lose my lunch.

"Excuse me," I said as I got up and went to the bathroom.

I looked at my pale face, and splashed water on it, trying to bring some color to it.

I sat on the toilet seat and breathed in and out. My heart was racing. I had to do something to calm myself down. I jumped up and down, it only made matters worse. I sat down again and analyzed the situation. So Ben cheated and got that Barbie pregnant, and I had to hear it from Vivian of all people.

But I was not about to give Vivian the satisfaction of seeing me cry.

When I returned to the dining area. John had popped open a bottle of champagne and Lisa was drinking orange juice.

Ben was already standing, waiting for me. He looked like he had swallowed a pineapple whole. He looked anywhere but my face.

"I was just telling John and Ben here, that now that Lisa is going to be having Ben's child, I think they should do the right thing and get married. What do you think of that idea Meghan?"

The nerve.

"I think it's a wonderful idea, Vivian," I said, standing a bit taller.

"Mom, Dad, thank you for inviting us. But I think we should leave now." he took his keys and pulled me with him before I made a fool of myself. We escaped just in time to prevent Vivian from saying anything more.

"I'm so sorry Meghan. It wasn't supposed to come out like that, it was a once-off thing and I never said anything about marriage." He said after he settled into his seat in the car.

"Were you gonna tell me if Lisa didn't turn up pregnant?"

His silence answered my question. I glared at his side profile. I was not only heartbroken that Ben had cheated on me but also ashamed of the way it came out.

"But baby you have to understand, you didn't make things any easier for me."

Yeah. No kidding, Romeo.

"And how did I do that?" I turned to face him.

"You've been refusing my advances for over a year now. A man has needs, Meghan. I was frustrated and Lisa just happened."

"Oh, wow. Now, this mess is my fault?" I looked outside the passenger window. Didn't want him to see the hurt his words were causing me.

"We were already engaged. But still, you refused to sleep with me, what did you expect me to do?"

"I expected you to be faithful Ben, that's what I expected from you. We agreed we would wait until we were married and I expected you to keep your promise to me." I still kept my gaze outside the window.

"Promise? You work at a strip club, Love, I don't know what goes on behind the scenes."

This apple did not fall far from the tree.

"I am a dancer. A professional dancer, you know what, this is not taking us anywhere."

We drove in silence the rest of the way.

When the car stopped. I jumped out and ran into the house to pack.

I shoved a few clothes into my overnight bag. The rest I would come for when Ben was not home.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he roared at me from the doorway.

"I'm leaving Ben, I think your mother made it clear what she expects from you."

"I made one mistake, one. And you already packing up your sh*t. I thought we would be together through thick and thin."

"Save your speech for your soon-to-be bride, and yes I'm packing my sh*t and getting out here."

"Like hell you are." he walked into the room. "You are not going anywhere Meghan until I have my investments worth."

"And what would that investment be?"

"I gave you shelter, food, and clothes for almost two years." He was counting as he took steps toward me. "I think I deserve to be rewarded for all my hard work."

"Thank you, Ben. There you go. Now, are we done?"

"Not so fast, that was not what you promised me and you know it."

"I never promised you anything." I quickly walked out of the room and he grabbed my arm and pulled me into a rough kiss. I tried pulling away but he forced his tongue inside and I bite down his lip, he staggered backward enough for me to make my escape.

"B*tch!" he creamed.

Before he could launch himself at me, I ran out of the door and didn't stop until I reached Alicia's apartment.

***

The tears wouldn't stop falling.

"He wasn't himself." I kept saying. I felt like the more I said it, the more it would be true. The man I ran away from wasn't Ben. He was someone else I'd never met before.

"He was himself, babe. You just didn't know the real Ben, and tonight he revealed himself." Alicia said soothingly.

I was sitting on the floor at Alicia's tiny apartment that she shared with two other girls from work.

Alicia and I had been friends since we started dancing. She was the only constant in my life. She knew everything about me.

"Ben was so sweet, Ali, I don't understand what changed," I said between sobs.

"Maybe he's just a good pretender. Sometimes people are like that. Now get some sleep and we will talk about this tomorrow." She left and came back with bed covers and pillows for me.

I made myself comfortable on the couch.

"What if he shows up at work?" I was still shaken from the experience with Ben, I didn't want to experience it in a public place.

"He won't. Because you're gonna change your work address. My boss has been looking for fresh blood at work. You can start tomorrow night, but you will have to come in early so he can have a look at you."

"I will be there. Thanks, Ali." I was grateful for that one positive aspect of my life.

At least I didn't have to worry about that, but even with my work situation taken care of, sleep came in drips and drabs all night.

_Neon The clock struck nine fifteen pm. The office was dead quiet at this hour and it was my favorite time to finish up some work. The only sound was the ticking of the clock and Sylvia's shuffling movements from her small office next to mine. I went through the final page of last quarter's financial report with a fine comb. I had at least gone through them five times already. Embedding them into my mind and memory. The company had an accountant for these matters but I always wanted to know what was going on within the company.When I was younger, I struggled at school, and after an assessment, I was diagnosed with dyslexia. I couldn't read or write. In class, I had to work ten times harder than the average kid. Even now I still read and write slower than the average man. My condition of not being able to perform certain tasks only meant that I perfected other skills, like people skills. I manage people very well and I