I dare not fall in love with you

I am Yan Mu, 24 years old, an ordinary employee of the company, earning five to six thousand yuan a month.

I don't pay rent, don't pay phone bills, don't buy cosmetics, clothes, or bags, and I eat at home, but I still live from paycheck to paycheck.

Why?

The main culprit can be said to be a man named Xia Tian!

I have been secretly in love with him for the entire time of my youth.

The WeChat notification sounded, and my buddy Liu Jingrui specially tagged me in the group: "Are you coming today?"

I didn't hesitate and typed two words: "Of course."

"Wow! I never expected Yan Mu to become the social expert of our class! Your figure is always seen at every gathering!" came the reply.

"Boring! Unlike you all, who have someone to accompany you." I quickly replied while checking my balance for this month in my account book.

"Who are you hinting at with that comment?" The class monitor Qi Kaiming also joined in.

"I'm hinting at all the single people!" Every time a gathering is proposed, I'm always teased, and I've long been used to it.

"Hush, hush, hush!" Li Ling sitting across from me desperately gestured to me.

I quickly set my phone to silent.

Our boss, Ling Tianrui, walked past us without looking, bringing in a breeze filled with a faint scent of ancient dragon and a hint of tobacco.

This reminded me of Xia Tian.

Like an infatuated person, I closed my eyes and was intoxicated by this faint scent, unwilling to wake up.

"Hey!" Li Ling heavily tapped on the partition in front of us.

I opened my eyes, "What's wrong?"

"Xia Tian replied to the message!"

Although it wasn't exciting that Xia Tian replied to the group, he often chatted in the group.

But at this moment, Li Ling's expression made my face uncontrollably blush. Perhaps I might see him tonight.

I unlocked my phone, and below my "hinting at all the single people!" message, he quickly followed with: "If I finish early, I'll come over."

This set off a wave of excitement in the entire group, even people who hadn't talked in centuries in the class joined in.

I stared at his message, even though this wasn't the first time he agreed to come to a gathering, every time I saw his acceptance, it felt like I was under a spell and couldn't move for a long time.

After a long time, Li Ling called me many times but couldn't bring me back to reality. She had to walk over and forcefully tap on my shoulder, pointing to the file in front of us, saying, "The boss is here today, and you are right in front of him. Come back to your senses!"

"Li..." I looked up at her with tearful eyes.

Li Ling mercilessly pushed my face away, forcing me to stare at the file on the table.

"Pray! Let's hope we don't have to work overtime today."

"Why does he have to come back today of all days? If only he didn't come back." I was at my wits' end.

"It's okay, if we really have to work overtime, I'll cover for you." Li Ling comfortingly patted my shoulder.

Li Ling returned to her seat, and Liu Jingrui sent me a private message: "How is it? Did my efforts pay off?"

"Thanks, buddy." I quickly typed a few words, not daring to tell Liu Jingrui the fact that if there was overtime, Li Ling might not be able to make it.

Forgive my selfishness!

I anxiously waited until the end of the day, quickly packed up, and just as I got up, I heard the boss opening the door behind me.

"Hey, get ready, accompany me to a dinner party."

I turned my back to him, not knowing who he was referring to, but I believed that Li Ling would clear all obstacles for me.

Sure enough, Li Ling stood up, "Alright, President Ling."

"I wasn't talking to you." His indifferent voice sent shivers down my spine.

Now, besides Li Ling, the secretary room only had me. I could feel my soul leaving my body, not knowing where the strength came from to turn around.

"Me?" I could imagine how contorted my smile might be.

"What's wrong? Is there a problem?"

I nodded stiffly, "I don't feel well, I'm afraid I can't attend in my best state."

After a quick glance from Ling Tianrui that seemed to see through everything, he said to Li Ling, "Then you go."

"Got it, President Ling." Li Ling agreed decisively.

As soon as Ling Tianrui went in, I turned around and let out a big sigh of relief.

I asked Li Ling with my mouth, "Is he out of his mind? Calling me to a dinner party!"

Li Ling shrugged, meaning, "How would I know?"

I also understood the general idea of the empty seat beside us.

The company's most capable assistant had taken a day off, and between me and Li Ling, my personality was better suited for socializing.

Entering the CEO's exclusive elevator side by side with Li Ling.

"Do you know how much overtime pay is for accompanying President Ling to a dinner party? The appearance fee for your crush Xia Tian is really expensive, such a rare opportunity and you've wasted it."

"President Ling is a good person, if he gives me six thousand, I'm already satisfied."

"Just getting six thousand in such a big company, you still have the nerve to say that."

"I'm blessed by heaven, I'm blessed by heaven."

I have a bit of a thick skin.

At a charity event, I coincidentally found a life-saving medicine for an old man, and in his words, I am his savior.

So he unconditionally arranged for me to be a freeloader in his company, as a way to repay my favor.

That old man is Ling Tianrui's grandfather. He thought I was a compassionate person, and who among the young people nowadays would be willing to waste old man?

Even more unbelievable is that I didn't volunteer for that charity event in the past.

The company needed volunteers to help out, but no one in the company wanted to go, so the boss sent me out as an intern at the time. I was among the hundreds who didn't want to go, but I also didn't expect to find such a good opportunity.

When Ling Tianrui's grandfather proposed for me to be a freeloader in his company, I readily agreed without any consideration, without any regard for the obvious disgust on Ling Tianrui's face.

Fortunately, Ling Tianrui is a magnanimous person, and he didn't hold a grudge. He gave me the lowest salary in the company and let me work there for two years. During this time, he has never made things difficult for me.

As the elevator reached the ground floor, Li Ling sighed, "You, being favored by fate, go pursue your happiness!"

I blew her a kiss, "When I succeed, I'll be the one to save you."

Li Ling rolled her eyes without scolding me.

I know what she meant by that eye roll. Can I really succeed? Unless I'm really hit by a windfall from heaven.

This secret crush has lasted ten years. During these ten years, I have been extremely careful not to let anyone notice, except for two girlfriends and a buddy, no one in high school or college knew about my thoughts.

One can tell from the reactions in the group today that no one suspected the target of my hint was Xia Tian.

After removing my makeup and taking a shower at home, I sat in front of my mom's dressing table.

"Take a look at this new outfit your mom bought, what do you think?"

My mom was wearing a vintage two-piece top and high-waisted linen trousers, and she placed various poses around me. I took a glance and was immediately interested, "Not bad, not bad, loan it to me for a day."

My mom snorted, "I knew this outfit was bought for you."

That's why I don't spend money on clothes.

"I love you!" I spent half an hour doing a retro Hong Kong style makeup, feeling beautiful.

At this time, another girlfriend Luo Fangfang sent a video call, and I had already changed clothes by then.

"Sis! Are you being too deliberate?" 

I rolled my eyes, "When haven't I been deliberate?"

Luo Fangfang nodded as if she suddenly understood, "Right. Have you finished getting ready? I'll come over to pick you up."

"Don't! Let me pick you up! I need to let Xia Tian see that I still have some economic power. At least I have a car."

"Okay, well, it's also good to save on gas for me."

Luo Fangfang hung up the call.

I have a car, it was bought by my family, a white BMW 5 Series. The full payment was made by my family, and I pay my dad a thousand yuan every month.

Just before leaving, my mom said, "It's time for you to find a boyfriend, isn't it?"

"I'm working on it! " I changed into high heels and walked out.

Luo Fangfang got into my car and immediately noticed the mess of high heels I had thrown around, "Do you still want Xia Tian to see you like this?"

"I'll change into the good pair in the trunk after I get out of the car."

"Luo Fangfang buckled herself in, "I saw that Wen Xiaoyao is also attending, there's no need to think about it, it's definitely for Xia Tian."

"She doesn't stand a chance, it's been so clear for so many years, if she had a chance, it would have happened a long time ago." I said nonchalantly.

"At least she was the campus belle." Luo Fangfang mercilessly dealt me a blow.

"Give me some confidence! Don't be so discouraging."

"Of course, our sister Yan Mu has also grown into a beautiful and outstanding appearance, and also has an extraordinary foundation for friendship with Xia Tian. There's still some hope!"

I rolled my eyes, was this meant to be encouragement?

When we arrived at the entrance of a five-star hotel, I only realized after handing the car keys to the doorman that this was a bit high-end.

"Liu Jingrui said it was requested by Wen Xiaoyao, claiming it's not up to Xia Tian's standards if it's of a lower class."

In my mind, the remaining amount in my little account book clattered to zero, meaning no more gatherings to attend this month, and I prayed that no one would get married!

While linking arms with me, Luo Fangfang said, "Don't worry! With me and Li Ling around, we won't let you become destitute."

I twitched my mouth, "Talking as if you don't have to pay it back."

Walking into a grand and extravagant private room, many classmates had already arrived.

"My goodness! Dressed up so grandly, who are you doing it for?" The class monitor Qi Kaiming exaggeratedly said to me.

I arrogantly tossed my hair, " you! To make you see me in a different light!"

"Didn't we resolve our grudges from the last few gatherings? Why are you still holding a grudge?" Qi Kaiming exaggeratedly sighed.

Luo Fangfang whispered to me, "Qi Kaiming definitely has a special interest in you, I bet a hundred."

"I can tell, ever since he attended our gathering for the first time three months ago, every time after that, it seemed to be for me. I'm not betting."

"You two, what private conversation are you having?" Qi Kaiming blinked and said.

I smiled, "Seems like I'm not the only one who's eager to get out of being single, now everyone is responding to every gathering."

Qi Kaiming's eyes instantly lit up, as if my words were hinting at him.

I and Luo Fangfang took our seats, and she continued to whisper in my ear: "You now have a bit of the temperament of a bad girl."

"Ah?" I didn't understand.

"You don't like someone, why flirt with them?"

"Where did I do that?"

"Your words make all the singles start to think wildly."

I was shocked, "I didn't think that much, I just wanted to try to avoid others associating me with dressing up and summer."

"I know! But they don't know! Tone it down, you were a bit too affected today."

After Luo Fangfang reminded me, I felt a bit embarrassed and buried my head in my phone.

There was a new message in the group.

Xia Tian: "Not coming to the dinner, see you next time."

Wen Xiaoyao followed: "I have something come up, see you next time."