The Unwavering Bond

As long as I can remember, I have been in love with my best friend Gabriel Winthrop, but I didn’t dare to ever confess it to him, afraid of his rejection. However, it was all going to change, I thought, as I stared at the blank canvas of a room—in the woodhouse where we first stayed, where I realized my love for Gabriel—in front of me waiting to be transformed into a space of love and devotion.

With a determined smile, I started painting the walls with a combination of deep red, carmim, gold orange, and fall gold, reminiscent of the sunsets we often admired together. As the colors breathed life into the room, I felt a static energy buzzing throughout my body, making me want to dance. This was the beginning of my new dream.

Then after the paint had dried, I carefully hung string lights at the edges of the room. Their warm glow cast a soft, romantic ambiance, and they symbolized the light and warmth Gabriel has brought into my life. Next, a few potted plants to represent the growth of our friendship and vibrant flowers for the blooming love I wished to express. Then I began to stick our photos to the wall.

I knew that this was a bit overboard, but I didn’t care because I personally thought that to express seventeen years of love this wasn’t enough. My phone rang and I pulled it out of my pocket. My lips split into a smile as I saw that it was Gabriel. I wanted to tell him that I love him right away, but he will think of it as friendly I love you and will say it back. He is a moron sometimes. But he is my moron.

“I am getting married.” He said, as soon as I picked up the call. I froze in place and a white static noise buzzed over my ears but then it cleared as I realized that there was no way he was getting married. Because he doesn’t love his current girlfriend of three or was it four months?

“Congrats,” I said, dryly, as I put the phone on speaker and began to work on the room.

“I am serious.”

“Okay, serious.”

“Rafael.” He said, a bit of irritation creeping up into his voice and I froze. He never used this tone with me and it made my stomach drop to the floor. Because it meant that he was telling the truth. He was going to get married. My eyes filled with tears and I blinked them away determined not to cry before getting to know the full truth.

“Are you really getting married?” I asked, bile burning in my throat as I forced myself to ask him that question.

“Yes.” My knees gave out as he uttered the word, but I caught the wall in the nick of time and slid down carefully. However, it didn’t matter even if I injured myself because my carefully constructed world was falling apart. My... My Gabriel is going to marry someone else and I would never get to call him mine or even confess my love for him. The room started spinning again and I took in a sharp breath to slow my racing heart.

“To whom?” I asked, clearing my throat. I hoped my voice didn't sound as wrecked as I was feeling, but I wasn’t so sure.

“Madison.”

“But you've known her for four months,” I stated, emphasizing every word feeling desperate to do or say something.

“You know my parents; they have been pressuring me for marriage and what’s better than marrying the daughter of a business tycoon.” He said, matter of factly as if he wasn't breaking my heart into pieces.

“Since when do you start obeying them?”

“I don’t. This will be a good thing for my business too. Her father would invest tons of money in my business.”

“Do you love her?” I asked, despite knowing the answer to his question. He was just marrying for money—I couldn’t believe it because Gabriel didn’t care about it, but sometimes he makes idiotic decisions like this—but I needed to hear it from him.

“Nah. And she doesn't love me. She's in it for my dad’s connection.” I got slightly relaxed that he didn't love someone, but it still hurt.

“What about love, Gabriel? Don't you want to wait for the one?” Please see sense, you moron.

He chuckled at the notion and said, “We’re thirty-five, Mi Cielito.”

“So what? It’s not like you’re seventy. You can still find the one you love.” To whom you may or may not be talking with right now. I wanted to add but didn’t.

“There’s no chance, Mi Cielito.”

“What about me?” I asked, before I could stop myself and he went silent. Sh*t. What the f*ck did I just say? I racked my brain to think of something that would make sense and said, “I mean if you marry, then I would be single.”

“You should get married too. What’s your ex-boyfriend’s name?” He said, making a hmm noise that he usually does when he’s deep in thought.

“I haven’t had any in several years.” I have had several boyfriends, but I couldn’t move on from Gabriel no matter how hard I tried to. So, I gave up dating and kept it only sexual.

“No one.” He made the sound again, then added, “But I have seen you being lovey-dovey with a blonde who recently got a boyfriend.” There was a bit of jealousy in his voice. Gabriel was weirdly possessive when it came to me and as annoying as it was, I loved it.

“Vincent was just my s*x buddy. I’ve told you this before.” I said. “Why do you hate my boyfriends anyway? You've never approved of any of them.”

“Because they don’t deserve you.” I wanted to ask whether he deserved me or not, but I kept quiet. “Anyways, I called you to ask you to be my best man.” His best man. I never thought it would come to this because I assumed that he would never marry.

“Of course, who else will be your best man.” I replied, choking on my own words. I wanted to be his groom, not his best man. Dammit.

“Okay, I have to inform others. Talk to you later.”

“When will be the wedding?”

“I’m thinking about three months from now.”

“Wh… What? Why so soon?” My stomach lurched so hard that I had to clasp my mouth to keep myself from emptying my stomach contents.

“I’ve to get this over with, Rafe. Don’t want to drag it too long.” I let out a choked sob because he’ll be someone else’s in just three months. “You okay, buddy?”

“Yeah. I am.” I cleared my throat. “I think dust got into my mouth.”

“Take care, Mi Cielito.”

“What did the triplets say?” I asked, referring to his younger brothers. They’re eleven years younger than him and now living in the UK and I’m sure they would’ve scolded him for this stupid decision.

“Vihaan and Nyx were disappointed and Delmar refused to talk with me.” He sighed in frustration because he liked Del a bit more. The three were named according to a theme: Vihaan–The sun, Nyx–The moon, and Delmar-The sea. We were the ones to name them. We literally raised them and they knew I love Gabriel. “Need to tell others, Mi Cielito. See you later.” He said and ended the call.

“Why?” I screamed into the silence. “Why are you doing this to me? Couldn’t you have just waited a little longer? F*ck*ng idiot.” I unlocked my phone and looked at my wallpaper. It was the picture of us, standing shoulder to shoulder and smiling like maniacs. We looked perfect that day. “I should hate you for hurting me, but I can't, you bloody f*ck*ng b*st*rd.”

I threw the phone away as hard as I could, it crashed into the wall and broke just like my heart. Tears free-flowed out of my eyes and I cried like I had never done. The last bit of hope of us being together was gone and I had no idea what to do about it. I could never forget him because my whole life had revolved around him. He was all that mattered in life, even when he was being a complete prick.

Wrecked sobs erupted from my mouth and my body shook uncontrollably. I looked around the room and cried harder. I did it with so much love that now it feels like it was mocking me; like it was telling me that the person I love the most wouldn’t be mine if I didn’t convince him sooner. My business phone rang and I picked it up without seeing the caller ID. It didn't matter anymore. The person I loved with my body and soul wouldn’t be mine anymore, so it didn’t matter.

“Rafael, do you hear me? It's Vincent.” The voice said. He was a client of Gabriel and I made his acquaintance through him. We had been sexual partners for years—a fact that Gabriel never liked—and he also knew my love for Gabriel. It seems like everyone figured out the fact except for that one infuriating b*st*rd who I love.

“Yes.” I whispered, not even pretending to hide the anguish in my voice. I don't have energy left to act.

“I... I know you are hurting, Rafael. I'm sorry.”

“It's okay. It was supposed to happen.”

“What do you mean, love?”

“Gabriel views me as his brother.”

“B*llsh*t. He doesn’t.” A glimmer of hope took root in my heart and I squashed it quickly. Because it was too dangerous to hope even for a moment.

“Please don’t give me hope.”

“I’m stating the facts, Rafe. He calls you his little heaven, writes songs only for you, and never disagrees with you. He’s an entirely different person when he is with you. And he is jealous that I was your s*x buddy.”

“That’s not true.” Vincent chuckled.

“I know he is. Whenever I am near you, he gives me the evil eye.” He said.

“He is possessive. Don’t mind him.”

“I’ve never seen him get possessive over his girlfriends. Believe me, Rafe. He’s in love with you. I’ll prove it to you. If I can’t, I will shave my head.” I gasped at his ridiculousness.

“Vincent.” I said, incredulously.

“I swear it, Rafe. In a way, you gave me the courage to pursue Lucas. Now, I will do anything in my power to make him admit his love.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

“You are my friend, Rafe. I won’t let you suffer.”

“Thanks, buddy.” I ended the call. “Maybe there’s still hope for us.” I whispered looking at the wall decorated with our pictures and then with shaking hands I finished the work.

Perhaps I could talk him out of it.

I looked around the shop, trying to find the perfect color and material suitable for Rafael but nothing satisfied me. Nothing ever does because he is such a rare specimen and requires perfect things in his life. I wanted to order a custom-designed suit for him, but he said he would kill me if I dared to, so I solemnly agreed to buy him a suit at the same place where I am buying my wedding suit.

I’d already decided on a simple white suit—a color I hate the most, but my Rafael selected it, so how could I say no—and then we moved on to buy Rafael a suit. We have been for the past two hours. I bet that the Indochino employees were quite annoyed with me rejecting every one of their dresses.

I selected a teal costume off the rack, but the fabric was a little bit too rough and would irritate his delicate skin. A pink one followed, but it was too light and wouldn't fit him. I burned through the next few outfits rejecting them one by one. Because nothing will suit him. Ugh. I f*c