Beautiful Flower - BDSM

POV: Jeong Jaejun

Today is the first of September, my birthday!

I'm turning nineteen, and the purpose of leaving home with my best "or worst" friends today was to celebrate until we couldn't stand anymore, and maybe even kiss someone to prove to my friends that I'm not a scared virgin.

Our goal was to drink alcohol until we couldn't take it anymore, and one of us always had to take responsibility for the others to get us safely home.

Did this always work out? No, not always. Once, for example, Jackson, my loudest and richest best friend who is also known simply as 'Jack', left me sleeping in Minah's backyard. Minah is my best friend who is probably the calmest in the group. But Jack didn't put me to sleep in a room; that would be too much work for him. Instead, I woke up at eight in the morning with the sprinklers wetting me all over. Okay, I was still underage and there was no way to take me to the boarding house where I was living at that time. I couldn't even stand on my own, and the landlady would complain a lot. That's why he left me there on the grass with Yejun, our most reliable friend, who Jackson definitely has a crush on.

But now you must be wondering, "What about Jack? Where did he sleep?" He also slept in the garden. We couldn't get inside the house and sleep in one of the many rooms available there. But he was more careful; he slept on a lounge chair under a beach umbrella.

After that, Jackson was never responsible for the group again. 

But since today is my birthday, we had already spent the whole day at Minah's house. She was the friend with the most money after Jackson, and her parents were usually not home. Even though Jackson's house was as cool and big as hers, Minah's house was closer. So after a night out at the club, we always gathered there.

We had spent the entire afternoon by the pool, drinking whatever alcohol we could find, as per our tradition, but it didn't seem enough.

When night fell, we decided to go in search of good and new clubs that would be convenient enough for a group of young adults to dance in peace and drink a bit more.

But the result of this? We went to four different clubs, and none of them were cool enough.

The first one was too hot, and the second one was dark and had a lot of strange people. Not that it was necessarily bad, but a man with a shaved head and a nose ring stared at me for ten minutes. It freaked me out so much that we went to the third one, but there was so much cigarette smoke there that we were sure we'd leave with lung cancer!

The fourth one was the most chill, there weren't as many weird things going on, the music was good, but even so, it didn't really please us.

And when we were already tired and a little dizzy from the drinks, I suggested that we go home to sleep. But of course, one vote against all the others didn't make anyone listen to me.

 "I saw some people talking about a club that's getting a lot of attention right now," Minah says, stealing our attention.

 "Twitter? I'm out, nothing good comes from there!" Rini, Minah's girlfriend and the friend who gives the best advice, says. 

"I have to agree with Rini," I say, but I see Taeshin, my foul-mouthed and shameless friend, rolling his eyes. 

"Quit being silly, Jaejun. Let's go, and that's final. It'll be the last one." 

I look at Jackson, and he nods, making me roll my eyes. "What's the name of the club?" I ask. "Space Siren," Jack replies, looking at Taeshin's phone screen. 

"It sounds like a brothel," Rini says, hugging Minah around the waist. "What do you think, love?" she asks.

Minah just shrugs.

"Let's go, and that's final," I say, tired, standing on the curb. It's late, but there are still some slightly drunk youngsters walking around. 

"It's not a straight club, is it?" Yejun wrinkles his nose, looking at Jackson. "I don't like places with sweaty guys taking off their shirts and thinking it's the most amazing thing in the world."

"Like that's believable," Jackson denied vaguely, glancing at him. 

"The place is called Space Siren, it's definitely not a straight club," Taeshin says, approaching me and slinging his right arm around my neck. 

"Jaesun doesn't do well in places with beautiful women, he malfunctions." 

"Cut the nonsense, of course I like women! I'm straight, after all," I say.

"You're not fooling anyone, little redhead," Taeshin says, pulling my cheek.

"You could be bi, pan, or anything else, but straight? No... you definitely like dicks," Taeshin quips.

"Go f*ck yourself, Taeshin, for God's sake!" 

"It's an LGBT club," Jack chimes in again, showing us his phone screen.

The actual location didn't really matter, but it had to be, without a doubt, a place that would respect us as human beings and honor our sexualities. A place where we could be ourselves without hearing the usual homophobic jokes.

And we had heard so much of that kind of thing, that's why it was so important to check the environment before just going. We had a lesbian couple in the group. We had gay friends, and me, even though I'm a bit confused about myself sometimes, I like it when respect is maintained. I don't tolerate playing around with that sort of thing.

And if you want to know why I'm confused, it's all Yejun's fault. One day, I lost a bet to him and had to go to an adult store and buy the prettiest dildo I could find. I didn't know I was picking that for myself, honestly. I chose it because I thought Yejun wanted it, but now I keep it in the bottom drawer of my wardrobe, and every now and then, I catch myself looking at it and wondering: What would it be like?

But I've never used it! Not even once! I'm afraid of rushing into something, and I'm also afraid of what my aunt would think if she knew that I also like dicks... I mean, she shouldn't care, but her hatred for me is already so strong, everything would just get worse.

"It seems like a cool club," I announce, "but there's just one problem..." I smile awkwardly, looking at them.

"Which is?" Yejun asks.

"I'm broke already," I say sheepishly. "My salary hasn't been deposited yet, and what I had finished with that last beer..."

"Oh, my dear commoner..." Jackson says, approaching and giving me a hug too. "Today is your day, don't worry about it."

"But I feel bad this way... I don't like people spending on me."

"Well, you should like it," Taeshin says. "There's nothing better than being sponsored by someone."

"Have you been sponsored? Because from what I remember, your last boyfriend is a teacher."

"That's true, but I'm looking for one. What if I find a sugar daddy?" Taeshin laughs loudly, making me shake my head in disbelief.

"I won't be your sugar daddy," Jack says, letting me go and standing in front of me. "Besides, I don't like fake redheads."

"Do you want to respect my hair?"

"Alright, I'm sorry, but it's fading, and..."

"Jack!" I pout. My hair means everything to me. Talk about me, but don't talk about my hair, come on.

"Okay, I'm sorry, sweetheart," he smiles as if he did nothing. "But back to the point... I won't be your 'sugar daddy,' but I'll pay for your beer, don't worry."

"I'll pay too, don't worry," Minah says, still held by her girlfriend.

"But I won't feel good..."

"Enough, Jae," Rini says with an authoritative tone. "Now, let's go already."

I pout because I really don't like depending on anyone for anything, especially on such an important day like today, but come on, when Rini tells you to stop, you can't argue.

"Let's go already!" Jackson shouts.

I smile along with Taeshin, excited. Rini and Yejun just roll their eyes and agree with Jackson's shout, following all of us. Jackson looks up the address of the venue since we're walking there.

We don't walk far until we reach the place, and the streets of Itaewon are always lively, so we don't even get tired or bored on the way to the club.

On the contrary, we laugh more and more each time someone stumbles or says something silly.

"Shut up, d*mn it!" Rini shouts, but she's laughing at Minah, who's hanging onto Yejun's neck. "We're going to get arrested for causing a scene."

"Ah... shut up, there are a ton of people on the street, nobody cares about us," Taeshin grumbles.

"Since when do you talk to me like that?" She looks at him with a furrowed brow but holding back a laugh.

I just laugh and only stop when I stare at the black façade of the club. It's nothing extraordinary or jaw-dropping, but there's a fancy car parked in front, and it's worth my entire lifetime of work at the convenience store.

"There must be really rich people in there," I say, looking at my friends. Everyone gazes at the car.

"I hope it's the 'sugar daddy' I've been asking the universe for," Taeshin says, and if you see him, you might actually believe he means it.

I looked at the security guards, each of them as big as my dignity that I don't have, stationed at the entrance, and waited for any of my friends to talk to them first.

"Where do I pay to get in?" Jackson stopped in front of the tallest and strongest one. The man just pointed in silence. "Thank you, sweetheart."

Minah followed him, and I just stood there. The security guard looked at me, and even though he was wearing sunglasses at night, I could see him squinting and trying to read my soul.

"Right. I'll buy the tickets," Minah announces and walks over to the small window with a sign that says 'Ticket Booth.'

"I heard that friend of your dad's frequents this place," I heard Minah say as she returns with Jackson.

Song's eyes widened, it was funny.

"Here?" he asked. He handed me a ticket, and I thanked him.

"Yes, actually, I saw he checked in on his social media," she showed her phone. I approached to take a look.

The guy named Hanguk  "Jackson's dad's friend " had posted a picture, and there were two other people with him. A handsome, cheerful-looking dark-haired guy, and another one who was blond, but you couldn't see his face clearly as he was in profile.

"Who's this?" Taeshin pointed. I looked at him and saw that he was leaning on Jackson's shoulder.

"He's not tagged in the photo," Minah said, going into the photo's comments. "Nothing... There's not even a caption, how strange."

"He tags that he's here, but doesn't tag the cute friends he's with?"

"Maybe they don't have social media," I said. "Or they don't want people to know they're here. Who knows."

"People without social media are weird," Yejun spoke up, and I realized he was keeping his distance not only because he saw Jackson staring at Hanguk's photo but also because it bothered him.

I never really understood what was going on between them, but they've always shown jealousy towards each other.

I didn't know Yejun before his gender transition, but he always said he didn't 'have' what Jackson liked as a cisgender man did, and that always got Jack really mad. He said Yejun didn't know what he was talking about. And if he liked men, why wouldn't he like Jack in particular? I remember Yejun blushing, and that day they got weird, until they slept together, and what happened afterward, I don't know.

"Now let's go in already, it's almost midnight, Jae's day is almost over," he said, heading towards the entrance.

We followed him there, but I saw Jackson still looking at the photo. When he stops by my side, I laugh at how he zooms in on Kim's face.

"My holy Beyoncé, if I get my hands on this man..."

"You can get him tonight, you silly," Taeshin says from behind. "I want to know who his friend is."

"Didn't you go back to JiHo?" I look at him.

"No, we just had s*x," he says plainly.

I shake my head and don't ask any more questions. My friends are confusing. I turn around, seeing a few people in line to enter the venue.

"I wonder if it's crowded inside?" I ask.

"Jae, do you have a condom?" I hear Rini ask me, and I furrow my brow as I look at her, not understanding the sudden question. "Don't get into having s*x in a bar restroom without a condom, got it?"

"Rini!" I widen my eyes, feeling embarrassed. "It's fine..." I confirm, turning away as I hear her laughter.

"I understand why Jae turns so red, you guys talk about s*x as if it's the most normal thing in the world!" Yejun grumbles.

"And why wouldn't it be, sweetheart?" Jackson touches his waist, but he laughs when Yejun moves away.

"S*x is normal, Yejun, just like not wanting to do it. It's not a taboo," Taeshin says.

"I know, I know..."

Jackson rolled his eyes at the other's grumbling, but he follows when the line finally moves.

The security guard retrieves Minah's ticket who's just ahead and asks her to raise her arms.

"Are you crazy?" she asks, looking at him from below due to her short stature as she puts her hands on her waist. "I'm not going to be frisked by you with those manly hands of yours. I'm a woman, and I demand another woman to do that, come on..."

The man looks at her with boredom, and for a moment, I thought we might get kicked out before even entering. But he sighs and turns around to call someone, and only then does a woman appear.

"We apologize for the inconvenience," she says as Minah finally raises her arms to have the procedure done.

It's quick and discreet when the woman finishes with Minah, and Rini goes next.

I walk toward the security guard that Minah dismissed, and I'm frisked. One by one, we enter the club. And as usual, we wait until we're all together inside before we start exploring.

The entrance was completely dark, but inside it was brightly lit with colorful lights. The music was loud, and many people were already dancing in the center of the dance floor.

Jackson entered with a smile alongside Taeshin; they looked like kids in an amusement park. Rini and Minah were right behind, also smiling. I noticed when Rini pointed to the bar, and Minah nodded, walking over there with her.

I looked for a table and saw one in a corner. I pulled Yejun with me to go there, and I heard him laugh when I stopped.

"There are no chairs," he chuckled, realizing the obvious.

"It's not for sitting, it's for enjoying a more private atmosphere," Jackson appeared next to us. "But if you want to sit, I'm here," he winked.

Contrary to what I thought he would do, Yejun didn't swear, but he smiled, shaking his head.

"Everything about you comes down to s*x, doesn't it?" he denied, looking at him.

"Well... maybe. Sitting is always nice, we both know that, and I'm just making myself available to you," he laughed.

"I need a drink," Yejun said, diverting the conversation, making us all laugh.

"I'll get something," Jack said.

"I'll go with you," Taeshin followed him.

I watched my friends walking and dancing. "Stupid Love" was playing, and even Yejun was dancing.

I stay in the same spot, not moving. Jackson returns and stands next to me, handing me a beer while he starts swaying to the music, looking around.

"Go dance!" he shouts at me. "It's past midnight, but it's still your day!"

"I'll go in a bit." I say, laughing, and I see my pair of friends finally coming back.

Minah is holding more beers, while Rini brings three glasses with some colorful drink that I have no idea what it is.

I smile gratefully as she hands me another beer and leave it next to the others, finishing the one I'm still drinking.

"I don't know how you like this." Yejun says, watching me drink. "It tastes like fruit, it's not real beer."

"Of course it is!"

"No, it's not," he retorts. "Real beer is the pale yellow one, with a nice taste of..."

"Pee." I interrupt him, laughing.

"It doesn't taste like pee, it's just not as sweet as this. This is fancy beer."

"Oh, let me enjoy my fancy beer, please."

I laugh, finishing the first beer, and reach for the one Minah gave me, opening it and drinking it with great pleasure.

"My holy sparkles, it's him!" Jackson announces, making all of us look ahead.

"Kim?" Minah asks, making him nod.

"He's looking so handsome!"

I look to the other side of the club and then see this Kim guy. Actually, I see the three men from the photo. The tall brunette, who I know is Hanguk, the one with the beautiful smile, and the blond one.

"You've always had a crush on Kim, right?" I ask Jack, smiling.

"It's not a crush, it's more like a cliff for him!" he says.

"You know he and your dad are friends, right?" Minah reminds him. "He'd kill you if you got involved."

"Papa wouldn't need to know." he laughs.

Yejun moved away from the table, making us look at him. He walked towards the bathroom, and when I looked back at Jackson, I saw him pouting.

"See how he is?" he complains. "He doesn't give me a chance and just gets jealous for no reason..."

"He does like you."

"He doesn't... It's been a long time since we were last together. Yejun doesn't want anything from me, he puts up walls because he's a transgender man and thinks it's a problem for me."

"But is it?"

"Of course not! He's a man, and I like men. What he has between his legs doesn't matter much to me, since I know very well how we can have fun together. But he keeps doing this and pushing me away... That's why sometimes I think about giving up on all of this, it's so exhausting."

"Do you really think so?"

"I do, but... just looking at him makes me change my mind." he laughed at his own situation. "I'm the famous fool."

"You're not a fool." I say, looking at him.

"And it hasn't been that long, Jackson. I saw you making out at that party we went to two weeks ago," Rini says, looking at him.

"But we were drunk then... Maybe he only stayed with me because there was no one else left."

"Stop undermining yourself like that!" I say. "And he would never use you like that, he really likes you."

Jackson just shrugs, not continuing the conversation as he sips his blue drink. I see Yejun coming back, but he doesn't come straight to the table. He stops at the bar and buys something. I know it's candy; Yejun always buys candy when we're at clubs.

"Do you want some?" he finally returns to the table, offering it. "It's watermelon flavored."

I grab one and thank him, setting aside my beer to start chewing on it.

As the minutes pass and everyone seems to be returning to their usual selves, I see them heading to the dance floor, while I prefer to stay put where I am. It's strange because I get a slight shiver as I take the last sip of my beer and feel all my little hairs stand on end.

I have the sensation that I'm being watched, and it's not new. It's annoying because it's always like this, even when I'm out on the street. I feel odd walking alone because it always seems like the people around me have their fingers pointing at my face, dictating all my mistakes and imperfections, but I know it's all in my mind, and that annoys me. I just wish it would stop.

Sometimes, I feel the urge to break free, to let loose a bit like I see my friends doing in public settings, but then this feeling always comes up, and everything becomes withdrawn within me.

However, with this strong sensation within me, I decide to look around, and that's when I n