The Torn Contract

START

I said last, really last. That's right...I don't want to. But I'm just fooling myself, no matter what my body surrenders—my heart can't listen.

"J-Jamie..." I closed my mouth immediately when the name of the girl he loved came out of his mouth. Even if it is said, for a moment our two bodies were united. That with every thrust, it doesn't think of me, this is how my husband hurts me so much. "l-love come back to me, please..." I took strength from the blanket. With the intensity of my clinging, my tears flowed, and my chest continued to tighten.

My tears flowed as my hands shook, trying to push his body even though I loved him endlessly. After succeeding, I was stunned by him for a while. His face was not as fierce as before me, but now it is peaceful. Now he's fast asleep, but what he left me the feeling was just a thunderclap.

That no matter what I do to protect myself from fear, it still causes me pain. A gentle caress on his cheek, nose, and lips. I wonder if my son will inherit those assets he has. I smiled bitterly, took his hand, and intertwined my hand with it. At that time I only had him; to be touched, to be kissed, to be observed—whenever there was alcohol in his system. Only in such a scene can I feel his love. Isn't it funny? I have the right to claim him, but his heart claims something else.

Is it even another woman coming out of his mouth? Is that still called love, Divina? I bent down and couldn't stop sobbing. Yes, it's called love. Indiscriminate love, even a different woman's name comes to his lips. "Z-Zimri," every time he was unconscious I could also tell the pains that were buried in my chest. "You know how happy I am when I marry you, right? Even though I'm still eighteen, the servants are used to serving me myself. I put an effort to learn something new, because of you, that no matter how much oil is thrown at me. I even managed to smile and laugh.” I laughed a little, upon remembering those memories. Memories that I want to cherish, that I thought when he was tied to me he would change.

And he did change.

The size of what he changed.

If that was the case, he was able to glance at me even though his body was filled with annoyance. When we were together, I almost had an infectious disease. He doesn't even want to be next to me in bed, nor does he want to look me in the eye.

"Even though, I know that the things I cook also go in the trash. I am still stubborn and continue serving you," I breathed and squeezed my hands. "I'm twenty-one now, Zimri. It's my birthday—I'm waiting for you because I thought now that I'm mature like the woman who passed through your life. You're going to love me...it's not. You still want her, you still want the same woman. I gave everything but why? B-Why can't you still love me back?” I wiped my tears and took a deep breath. "Two years have passed, but there is still no progress. You are still...treating me like trash. I gambled I gambled everything Z-Zimri. Being a teenager, I spent it to reach what I want...and that is you...to become your wife...even though you strongly refuse. But when you said yes, finally, I wish I had wondered just then. I wish I had listened to your threat, you were right. You're going to wreck me, and you gladly did." I punched my chest in annoyance.

I gave it all, and I regret that I didn't think about it more.

"My young heart, it couldn't be satisfied and give up before. But now that I'm getting older, that's when I realized... it was wrong. Everything was wrong from the beginning, you love your longtime girlfriend so much. Who am I? I'm just your wife on paper, but you'll still kneel to her, beg, swear. N-Now…I'm wide awake to the truth, Zimri. This is my gift to myself," and to our future children. "I'm freeing you, I don't ask for the satisfaction of the two of you. P-But I hope...our paths don't cross again." I know when that happens, I'll be begging again.

I'll just beg at this time. That I can still, I can still catch your spicy words. I can tell you face to face that I will never be him.

I know, I'll do that to be with you.

But now that I gave up again, I listened to my heart again. Although our body is united, I know this is the last. I caressed the ring he was wearing, I don't know when he wore it. I don't even know when he last looked at me like that. As if I was his only world….for the first time, even though I knew I wasn't. My eyes landed on the envelope that had been lying there, I knew he hadn't noticed it before.

Teardrops fell on the contract. I held my breath as I signed it. The thing that he asked me over and over again, the thing that he had meant to me for the first time. He didn't succeed because I was tough. Zimri became the only reason why I love them, he is the person who causes every smile that pops on my lips, every time I wake up in the morning. He was and still is my priority.

I'm already dressed, it's early morning but I'm here and I'm ready to go. I also removed the ring from my finger, and placed it on the bed, at the point where he could see it for the first time. Shaking, I reached for the annulment, I immediately tore it, and it parted into two parts. It's just right that if I touch it, I will take it anyway.

I smiled bitterly. "I'm finishing everything Zimri, I hope you and Jamie are not happy."

I wasted no time, I put all my things away yesterday. He hasn't been home for two weeks, I know he's always getting drunk at the bar. But I hoped...hoped that he would also come home because it was my birthday. Even if he doesn't have a present, it's fine as long as he goes home. He came home drunk, angry at me, that we even reached the bed. Even though our bodies were united again, the name of another woman was still in his mind. He even kissed me. He still loves someone else.

"Don't ever dare to think that I will fall for you, you wanted to marry me. I don't care if I hurt you completely, you ask for it, don't make it like I love this."

Divina Jaslene is used to the ruthless Zimri Venancio Belleza who is well-known in Claveria. I didn't pay much attention to his disobedience, his denial, or the fact that his mouth was saying different names face to face. The non-stop pushing of him, and the nightly cursing of him. No matter what I refused, young Jaslene was able to ignore it all. He became strong. Cuz, really I was so enchanting to meet him, marry him, love him.

But Zimri was right. I wanted it, I wanted to force him to be the person next to me even if other women wanted it. "J-Is it Jaslen?" Nana Virginia called me. His eyes landed on the luggage I was dragging. His eyes immediately widened and he immediately dropped the bag he was carrying. "W-Where are you going?" there was a tinge of fear in Nana's voice, she slightly looked at the stairs. Maybe Zimri was expected to be standing there, watching me try to leave, but the truth is I was scared. The style I do is not new.

“I'll leave now! I swear I'll tell Mama what you are doing to me, Zimri!” but it's not like before. That's all a child's threat.

"N-You’s back, Nana." I smiled weakly at him. He stepped forward and raised his hand, his hands were even shaking slightly. Can't decide what to do, whether to touch me or not. In the end, I was the one who came forward, took his hand and our eyes slightly met. "Nana," as soon as I called her, her tears started to flow. I shook my head and she shook her head too, I was tired but when Nana shook her head. I know what he wants. He doesn't want me to leave, that I fight more, endure more. But not anymore, I'm already at the endpoint.

"Always be careful. Thank you very much for taking care of me, you treated me like a son, even as a wife," I said. "I am your boss. I was able to survive for more than two years, with your help. I'm sorry for the days I gave you a headache."

“D-Divina…”

"It's okay if you feel bad for me, for the decision I made. I promised no matter what harsh words Zimri threw at me. No matter what rejection, I will not overcome it, and I will still love him until the end, which is what I did, Nana. At the point where there is nothing left.”

“Oh, Divina, there—”

"I want to continue loving him, Nana." I shook my head and bit my stomach. "I can't do it anymore, I can't do it anymore," to love him even though he loves someone else. Not now that I'm not the only one who can beg, to have his love. Neither do my children, so I better stay away.

I will think of myself and my son first.

When I cried I just went through what I wanted to say to Nana. No matter what Nana wants me to do, my ears are closed, and the decision I will make is final. I give up, I give up, I give up. While waiting for my flight, my eyes landed on my finger. The ring that shone with beauty was no longer there, I smiled bitterly and looked up to hold back tears.

I knew Zimri hated me, so I returned the ring. I have no right to it, it shouldn't be for me. I am not the woman he expected to marry. We just agreed and he agreed, I asked my family for that. I know he loves someone else, even though Jamie has ended their relationship. I was even happier because maybe the love that he has will focus on me.

I just thought...because I still can't get over the love that Jamie left for Zimri. Jamie and Jamie are still Zimri's favorite.

Even back then, he already filed an annulment. I'm the only one who waited a long time for his love, I'm the only one who's trying to destroy the relationship between the two. Now, there are two lives in my womb….for the first time. I was scared, I wasn't scared that the two might get back together, and I wasn't scared that Zimri would hate me, or Jamie.

I am selfish and I regret it. After all this time, it just dawned on me that I'm so gaga. Even though the two are kissing face to face, I am still having the gut not to mind it. That's how I am into him. And thinking about those things... makes me wonder.

How could I endure for two years?

Martyr.

The right term in describing it. Yes, I became a martyr wife. I don't know why I became like that. Now that it's all down, I've given up too...full to the bone. A drop of tears escaped and fell on the floor, I caressed my stomach.

"You are two weeks pregnant, Mrs. BelAsza. And as I can see in your state, it's not good for you to stress out. There's a possibility that you may lose your twins, I am sorry for your loss. But I recommend you to get rest, your child is triplets, and you were caught. But the two are clinging tightly, they are fighting with you, Mommy."

Losing my husband is not pained me as I lose my little one. That's because I focused too much attention on Zimri. I will never know that what happened to me was not just normal bleeding, I lost my little one. And it pained me more that I couldn't even notice the change in myself. I don't even know that I'm pregnant.

I was so devastated and it burned me out more when Zimri didn't come home for two weeks. I didn't have anyone at home, because Nana went back to Claveria. They won't know that I lost, I was captured, and I mourned my son alone. At that point, I realized that we were never that important to Zimri. Many possibilities entered me, how could it be now that he has a child with me? Isn't that what I'm going to get from him?

"I don't want to have a child with you, don't expect it anymore." His only second was whenever his parents turned their backs. After they asked when they would have grandchildren.

Zimri only accompanies me whenever his parents are in front of us. If I choose to tell him that I am carrying his child, I am used to his harsh words. But I don't think I can handle it if he rejects the twins. I've already lost one, I don't want to lose both.

All I ask for is his love. But now that my birthday has come again, he is not by my side, he comes home only to hate me. It's probably right that I and my children will choose first. Even if it's hard not having a partner in life, I can handle it, I can handle my children first and make my world go round.

I have never been someone else's world, but for my son, they will be my world. One more glimpse of the country I grew up in, and I only glimpsed it when it was cloudy. I know the course of my life will change eventually.

"Miss Prado?" I was back to my reverie when the principal of the schools my children attend called me. "As I said, this is their second warning. If these accidents occur again, I'm sorry to say but I'll forcefully drop your children at our schools. We don't tolerate this kind of behavior, Miss Prado."

I nodded to the principal because I understood what he meant. The mother of the two quarreling children gave me trouble. I can't blame them because the second time I was called again, and it was my children's fault again. I intently look at my twins when they didn't bow their heads, if I didn't even squint, I wouldn't be imitated.

"I'm so sorry for my children, Mrs. Fasco."

"I don't know Miss Prado, I don't even know why your twins are always fighting with my prince."

"Because he is acting like a prince, only his name is a prince. But he doesn't look like a prince at all!”

Mrs. Fasco’s brow shot up. "W-What?!" my eyes widened.

"Diether!"

"Mom, I am just telling the truth." He answered me with a frown.

“Your children are unbelievable, Miss Prado! I will push the education committee!” Mrs. Fasco walked out, she was so pissed.

"Mrs. Fasco! I'm very sorry!” I chased him to the parking lot. I groaned when her car passed me. I looked back at my two children who were bored waiting for me. "Where did you inherit from?" I was standing in front of them.

"We can't understand you, Mommy."

"Let's go home, Mom. I'm very hungry.”

Saint laughed at my story. "I won't be surprised anymore, Divina. You are even more reprimanded than them, you inherited both of them so don't complain."

"You're another one!"

"Why? Will you deny it? Don't say you don't remember your pranks?” I looked at him annoyed and stunned. I shook my head and went back to the past.

CHAPTER 01

NEWBIE

"Let's get rid of your brother, Divina. This Thiago will kill me!” Brother Warner said with wide eyes.

"That's not it brother! He won't know if you don't report, will he?" I said with a smile while Brother Warner shook his head. Look around and it's problematic. He grabbed me by the shoulder and pushed me hard. Make it difficult for him to do that because I'm trying to put on weight. "It's divine! I will lose this racket if your brother Thiago finds out you came here to the hideout!”

"And why is that? My brother wouldn't dare to do that to you, brother." I will calm down brother Warner. "You're his friend, and my brother knows you need this work. So he can't do that."

“You hit it! But Divina, of the two of us, I know a side of your brother better!"

"Huh? What do you mean? Does he have another side? What is that?” he scratched his h