Between Rain and Stars

Allison Garnet

March 18, 2006

The pain in my body is unbearable, I can no longer stand the horrible torture I have been subjected to for so long, there are countless times I have wished to die in this place, when just opening my eyes only perpetuates my suffering and I am convinced my mother's as well, I do not know how many times they have abused and defiled my body after beating my mother and leaving her on the verge of death, I lost count of the times they have broken our bones and these have healed falsely, without treatment and without anything; with food so precarious and without a shred of peace except for when the monster goes to work.

-Mom, are you there? -I asks with difficulty.

I've lost count of the times we've knocked on the door and had to pretend no one was home, the times my father has refused entry to his friends so they wouldn't see us or we couldn't call for help.

The basement is getting colder and colder, upstairs we hear footsteps and even if we want to, we can't do anything, for fear that he will hurt someone else besides us; the chains on our hands are getting heavier, my mother tries to calm the unbearable pain in my back and tries to heal the wounds on my body with difficulty, I can't move, my body is heavy and it seems that one of my ribs is broken.

-My love, I am here, I have you, my love.

The laughter of women upstairs eventually turns into screams, cries and threats, the slamming of doors warns us that Jake is not in a good mood and then the sounds of bottles breaking confirms what awaits us, I look at my mother and she is crying, we are scared and sure that at some point he will finish us off.

The basement locks fall and I close my eyes, hoping that this will just end, the footsteps sound closer and closer and in my mind, the tighter I close my eyes, the sooner it will be over; I feel my mother being pulled from my side and her screams only make the tears keep coming out of my eyes, a very loud sound echoes through the room and my mother's hand falls on my body, Jake seems to get scared and lose control, I, the more scared he seems, the more I cry, because it confirms to me that I have lost my mother and I am sure that alone I won't be able to get out of here.

I don't know how much time has passed, but just opening my eyes in this terrible place tears my soul. Feeling his breath on my neck and his strong liquor breath makes me fear for my life even more, when he seems to have ended my mother's life.

Jake is the monster in the closet that you fear as a child.

That shadow in the dark that makes you run through the halls until you get to your room.

He's the bad beast in the movies, the one you hate every time, even if they show he was good at one point.

It's the recurring nightmare you dread falling asleep to.

And to my bad luck, it's my father.

Sometimes I don't know what hurts more, because a father is supposed to be that human being who loves you unconditionally and protects you from any kind of danger, he is that superhero in any girl's life, unfortunately, in my story he is not a superhero, in my life he is the worst villain and the worst person that could exist on the face of the earth.

The love he always swore to have for me is gone, the man who gave me life and the one who gave his life for me, who saw me born and grow, is the same one who now takes my illusions, hopes and finally my life, in his hands.

Having my father behind me, with his mouth on my neck, while I am face down and he grabs my breasts tightly, completely immobilizes me, as he is on top of me.

It is terrifying.

That is the complete definition of my life, not knowing what is going to happen to me and more so, what happened to mom.

Like every time she gets alcoholic, I know my mother is in the basement of the house and I don't even know at what moment I got here, if my possibly dead mother's hand was on my body, as only my sobs and little whispers for help are heard blocked by the gag, it is actually extremely terrifying. From one moment to the next he seems to get tired of touching me and hits my face, arms, legs, abdomen possibly breaking another rib or hurting even more the one he already broke, he pulls out a large part of my blond hair cursing, blood begins to gush from my mouth and I struggle to stay awake, but once it starts to suffocate me I give up because I have neither strength nor desire to continue fighting against this monster when most likely I will have to endure alone from now on, I can not do it, I am not so strong to stay alone with this wretch, my eyes slowly close and through a slot I can see the silhouette of another person, but I quickly lose consciousness.

I don't know how much time passed, where I am or if I'm still alive, but I feel the sudden movement in my body and little by little, with a lot of pain I manage to wake up... Breathing becomes a martyrdom and opening my eyes to see him again becomes my greatest fear and biggest nightmare.

-Honey, wake up... my life, please you have to get out of here," I hear my mother's pained voice and I open my eyes with difficulty, in this moment of great confusion I don't know whether to feel relief, happiness or fear that something worse will happen to us because my mother, who was in the basement, is in the same room as us and I don't think it's dawn yet.

When I manage to open my eyes completely, I feel wet, dizzy and barely feel my body, the image in front of me makes the dizziness increase, the blood on the floor that at first, I think is my mother's, is not hers and I realize why I make a brief review of her body before seeing the inert body of my father next to her.

There is no more monster, the beast is gone.

The nightmare is over.

And then it dawns on me, she has taken it upon herself to destroy it, that our nightmare will be over; the smell of blood is so horrible that it makes me vomit immediately, I look at what appears to be my mother's broken hands, Jake's body lying there with multiple cuts on his back and arms, the visible part of his face. everything is so horrible and disgusting, the shock I am in makes me forget the pain for a moment, I can only see what is in front of me, until I hear my mother's crying and desperation, she approaches me desperate and shakes my body with enough strength to make me react....

-go away from here my girl, go away Ally, run away and forget about me, I am a murderer, go away Allison, well, don't forget about mommy, don't do it, but go away from here my baby, sorry for taking so long - now it is her who rambles and full of blood on her white dress, she pushes me out of the room, I run out of the lonely neighborhood, I don't even know how I can run, but the desperation to get out of there lead me to some streets I don't know, because I hadn't left that hellish house for almost 7 years.

Until now I don't know why I ran out of there, but as I can, like a madwoman, with vomit and blood everywhere I get as far away as I can, I don't even know how I was able to stand up, I was stunned and I had so long without leaving that house, I don't even know where I'm going, the cold London breeze welcomes me to the outside world, the little and almost non-existent clothes I'm wearing makes the cold so deep in my skin that my bones hurt more and more, when I'm far enough, the pain starts to take over me, I don't know where to go or what to do and to finish having a hard time, some raindrops start to fall, a few drops that soon turn into a big rain.

With my pajamas completely translucent, full of blood and vomit, the streets so lonely that they seem abandoned, I start to be a little more aware of the pain in my body, I look at my body full of bruises and bites, I can't help crying, I don't know if from pain, sadness or happiness for the freedom that my mother has just given me.

I am about to cross the street, but a strong dizziness takes me by surprise and when I see the lights of the approaching car, I no longer have the strength to move, the darkness takes over me and I hear a voice in the distance, but very far away from me.

...

There are voices around me, but I can't open my eyes, everything is so confusing, I don't know where I am, if I'm in the sky or somewhere else, but I know I got out of that house, I'm sure I did, I try to sleep a little more, because I'm not interested in trying to wake up, wherever I am, I'm sure I'll be better off than in that place called "home", I try to give up until a voice I recognize makes me try to wake up with all my strength, I try several times and I give up until she speaks again and of course I want to see her, I want to touch her, I want to know if wherever she is, if I'm with her everything is better.

- My love, open your eyes so mommy can see them before she leaves, please, forgive me for saving you so late my child, but we are free and no one will take that freedom away from you, my baby.

My mother's sweet voice comes from far away, I try to open my eyes several times, but the pain is so strong that it takes me a couple of tries to open them completely. I can see part of my beaten body, I feel something pressing on my ribs, I have wires all over my body, my right leg is in a cast and the left one is bandaged and I know that, if it wasn't for the support machine, breathing would be much, much harder.

I want to say something, but my voice does not come out, the tears come out of my eyes without being able to stop them, the state my mother is in is horrible, I look at my mother and her face is very beaten, her two hands are in casts, when my mother moves a little, I see a police officer at the door and that is when I understand my mother's words, she has to go, they are going to take her away.

The helplessness I feel is horrible, when we were the ones who needed help, no one would take him, but when my mother frees us from that being, they take her.

My mind travels in memories of all the years of abuse, pain and suffering, and I feel even more helpless, the officer comes in and tells mom that she has to hurry and the last thing he says is: "Mom, she has to go, just ask her to leave.

- Mom, he has to go, I just asked to see you wake up, we are free Ally, forgive me for everything I made you live my girl. See you later, I love you. - the policeman grabs my mother forcefully and takes her away from me, he rips her from my life, hurts her and once again pulls her hard.

A scream comes from deep inside me, asking not to be taken away, not to be taken away from me.

A machine starts beeping and multiple doctors come in and try to stabilize me, they apply something to the IV that is connected to my cannula and I feel my body slowly losing consciousness.

Holden Jones

March 18, 2006

I have been in an interview for over an hour with a reporter who follows very closely anything that might happen to Jane, but for over fifteen minutes he has been asking the same question that will get us nowhere and wants me to give him an answer that doesn't exist.

-But Mr. Holden, we have it on very good authority that Miss Jane is pregnant.

-And I am telling you that she is NOT," I emphasize "NOT" to see if he finally understands and continue, "that is completely false, Miss Jane Glenn is not pregnant, she is not even thinking about a pregnancy, she is not in a relationship and I would appreciate it if you would not insist any more on the subject, otherwise I will be forced to end this interview.

This "interview" is not taking us anywhere, it only insists on knowing something that Jane herself has taken care to clarify on several occasions and insists on