HE ABANDONED US,NOW HE WANTS MY SON

FLASHBACK

NINA

Today, I'm going to Ryan's apartment. I'm going to show him how much I want him. No more holding back. That's what I kept telling myself as I stepped into the bathroom for a quick shower.

Ryan and I had been dating for four months. He was twenty-five, six years older than me, and ridiculously attractive. The kind of man girls noticed the moment he walked into a room. Sometimes I caught women staring at him when we went out together. Some even flirted with him right in front of me.

I hated it. But secretly, I also felt lucky because Ryan was mine.

Our relationship had been filled with laughter, late-night calls, little arguments that never lasted, and moments that made me believe I'd finally found the person I was meant to spend my life with.

There was just one thing we hadn't done. We hadn't had s*x.

Ryan had pressured me a few times, but I always told him I wasn't ready. I was nineteen, preparing for college, and still a virgin. My parents were deeply religious. They believed s*x belonged in marriage, and for most of my life, I'd accepted that without questioning it.

But I loved Ryan, and I'd spent the last few weeks thinking about him, about us, and about what it would mean to finally give myself to him. I'd made up my mind. Tonight was going to be different.

I wanted my first time to be with someone I loved. Someone I trusted. Ryan.

I finished my shower and opened my wardrobe. I stared at my clothes for several minutes, but nothing felt right. Everything was either too conservative or too ordinary. I wanted something that would make Ryan look at me differently. Something that said I wasn't nervous anymore.

I picked up my phone and called Liz. She was my best friend, my secret keeper, and the person I called whenever I didn't know what to do. We'd been inseparable since grade school. She was more like a sister to me. An annoying sister sometimes. But still a sister.

"Hey, Liz?"

"What's up, baddie?"

I laughed. "Don't call me that. I'm not a baddie."

"Haha. I'm just messing with you. So, are you dressed already?" she asked. "I thought you said you were meeting Ryan today."

"That's why I'm calling. I don't have anything suitable to wear."

There was a brief silence before she laughed. "Oh, I understand."

"Don't start."

"You want something s*xy."

"Maybe."

"You definitely want something s*xy."

I rolled my eyes. "Can you please get something for me? Ryan will be home soon, and I need to get there on time."

"I got you." She sounded far too excited. "And trust me, I have something perfect for my little virgin bestie."

"Liz!"

She burst out laughing. "See you soon."

"Thanks."

I ended the call with a smile.

A few minutes later, I heard a knock on my bedroom door.

"Nina?" Mum called. "Are you in there? Liz is here."

"Okay, Mum. I'll be down in a minute."

I quickly did my makeup, fixed my hair, and slipped into a simple dress over the lingerie I'd chosen. Then I went downstairs.

"Hey, Liz."

"Hey, Nina." She looked me up and down before smiling. "I brought something."

"I knew you would."

We hugged before she pulled me toward the door. "Let's go."

I turned to my parents. "See you later, Mum. Dad."

Dad nodded, while Mum smiled. "You girls have fun, okay?"

Liz smiled back. "Bye, Mrs. Marian. Mr. Brennan."

Then we left.

We stopped at Liz's place, where I changed quickly. When I looked into the mirror, I barely recognized myself. The black dress was shorter than anything I normally wore, hugged my body perfectly, and showed more skin than I was used to. I stared at my reflection, and my heart started beating faster.

"Wow," Liz said behind me. "Ryan is going to lose his mind."

"Stop it."

"I'm serious."

I laughed nervously. "I should go before it gets late."

My phone lit up. My ride had arrived.

I hugged Liz. "Thanks. I love you."

"Love you too. Now go."

I hurried downstairs and climbed into the car.

Thirty minutes later, I stood outside Ryan's apartment. I stared at the door, my palms sweaty as the nerves I'd been trying to ignore returned. This was it. I knocked once, then twice.

The door opened, and Ryan stood there. For several seconds, he didn't say anything. He just stared at me.

"Hi."

He blinked. "Hi."

I smiled. "You're not going to say anything?"

He cleared his throat. "I'm just surprised."

"Do you like it?"

His eyes moved over me before returning to my face. "Of course I do." He stepped aside. "Come in."

I walked inside, trying not to smile too much. I could feel his eyes following me, and suddenly, all my nervousness disappeared. This was Ryan. The man I loved. The man I trusted. I had no reason to be afraid.

"Wine?" he asked.

"Just a little."

He went to the small wine bar near the kitchen and opened a bottle. I followed him. While he searched for the glasses, I opened a drawer. When I bent down, I felt his hands settle around my waist. I paused, letting his touch ground me.

"Nina," he whispered.

I smiled and turned around in his arms. "What?"

"You're making this very difficult."

"That was the plan."

He laughed softly before kissing me.

The kiss started gently, then deepened. My heart raced. I'd kissed Ryan countless times before, but tonight felt different. Probably because I knew where this was going and I had finally stopped being afraid.

He pulled me closer, and I wrapped my arms around him. For the first time, I wasn't thinking about my parents' rules. My mind was flooded with thoughts of Ryan and how much I loved him. I thought about the future we'd talked about. A home. A family. Possibly children someday. Ryan had always made those things sound possible.

He kissed my neck, and I closed my eyes, letting myself relax into him. Every touch made my heart beat faster, but underneath the nervousness was something stronger. Trust. I wanted him. I wanted this.

He carried me to the bedroom and gently laid me on the bed. My heart was racing, but I didn't want to turn back.

"I wanna see all of you, Nina," he said.

My cheeks heated up immediately. I was shy at first, but I pushed the thought out of my mind. I wanted him. I wanted this. "Go ahead, baby. I'm all yours."

He kissed me again, and I held onto him as we crossed the final line between what we'd been and what we were becoming.

The first few moments hurt more than I expected, and I gripped his shoulders, trying to steady myself.

"Are you okay?" he asked immediately.

I nodded, breathing through the discomfort. "Just go slowly."

He did.

Little by little, the pain eased, replaced by warmth and the feeling of being close to the man I loved. I held onto him, my heart pounding as I realized there was no going back now. This was my first time. And I'd chosen him.

Afterward, we stayed close for a long time. I rested my head against his chest while his fingers moved gently through my hair.

"I love you, Nina," he whispered.

I looked up at him. "And I love you too."

He kissed my forehead, and I smiled sheepishly. For the first time that night, I felt completely safe.

Later, Ryan dropped me off at Liz's apartment.

"Call me when you get home," he said.

"I will." I leaned over and kissed him. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, baby."

I watched his car disappear before walking toward Liz's apartment. When I reached the door, I knocked.

"Coming," Liz answered.

The door opened, and Liz immediately grinned when she saw me. I was already blushing because how on earth was I supposed to explain all the details to her? Liz had always been incredibly curious, and I knew she'd want every detail.

"So? Was he good?"

"Liz!" I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "It was amazing."

She pulled me inside. "I knew it! Spill the deets!" she screamed with so much excitement.

"No way, babe."

"Ugh! You're such a spoilsport!"

I laughed, but then my smile softened. "I really love him, Liz."

She looked at me carefully. "And you're sure he loves you too?"

I nodded. "I've never been more sure of anything."

She gave me a small smile and pulled me into a hug. "I hope you're right."

"I know I am."

At the time, I believed with everything inside me that Ryan loved me. We loved each other, and we had our future planned out together.

That night, when I finally got home, I couldn't stop thinking about him. His voice. His touch. The promises we'd made to each other. I fell asleep believing I'd just taken the first step toward the future we'd always talked about.

Ryan was my first, but I never knew that night would become the last.

And my life was about to change forever.

NINA

I remember staring at the pregnancy strip like the lines were going to disappear if I just looked at it long enough.

There were two lines.Not one.Two.

My hands were shaking so badly I almost dropped it into the sink. God How could this be happening now? I was just nineteen years old, and still trying to navigate the challenges of life. I did the math over and over in my head like the numbers would somehow come out differently if I tried one more time but that never happened.

I was pregnant with Ryan's baby. I never planned to have a child yet,at least not for now.

I loved Ryan. God, I loved him so much it scared me sometimes. So when I finally worked up the courage to tell him, I actually believed he'd be scared too.

But happy-scared. The kind of scared where you hold each other and figure things out together. Where you say, We'll be okay. The kind where you don't run.

I rehearsed the words in the