Shadow of the Moonlight

My eyes fluttered open to a cool morning and bare ugly walls. They once overflowed with photos and magazine cutouts of places that filled me with wonder. At first, I stared up at the ceiling, unblinking as chirping birds filled the silence. Then, I looked at the window where the curtains were drawn. Morning light peeked through them and for the thousandth time in the last three months, I wished I felt something other than misery.

Up again before my alarm, I got my day started. After showering, I returned to my room to sit in front of my floor-length mirror, removed my bonnet, and removed the large braids from my hair. Kinky curls spread out around my head like a curly lion’s mane, and I smiled at the brown-eyed beauty. It's more like a grimace. The smile slowly faded away, melting the mask and showing me what I truly am. Broken.

Through the peeking curtains, my sienna brown skin contrasted against the gray morning. The sun would be out soon. Puffing my hair out some more, I inhaled deeply and left my room. As I made my way down the stairs, I picked up Jackson’s clothes and shoes he haphazardly left everywhere. The slob liked to give me more work than necessary.

Like yesterday, today would be no different. After deposing Jackson’s junk to the hamper and the shoe rack, I got to work on breakfast.  As I finished up the first batch of pancakes, my mother, Yvette, came down first. She was already dressed in her pantsuit, her ebony hair flat ironed, and shined to perfection.

“Zaniyah,” she greeted, voice stoic.

“Mother,” I said.

“Breakfast should’ve been ready by now. You’re getting slower,” she said, sneering despite the spread already on the table.

“Sorry, mother,” I said. If I said anything other than that my face would be stinging right now. That would be all the acknowledgment I’d get from her unless something else wasn’t up to her standards.

Next came my older brother, Jackson, eyes fixed on the food, not even sparing me a glance. He stood a few inches taller than me at five foot ten. The golden child of our little family.

Then finally, Daniel. Father. The Gamma of our pack. His intimidating bulky stature sat in his seat with his head shaved clean and shining. He had the same shade of brown eyes as me and I hated how much I looked like my gorgeous family. Although, I knew they wouldn’t call me beautiful. Because, after all like always, I wasn’t there. Off to stand in the shadows as they start their days like a regular family. A family I couldn’t be a part of due to being an omega.

Omegas were seen as the weakest in our pack. Maybe in all packs. Looked down upon, they’re treated as nothing but servants or worse slaves. The alpha of our pack didn’t like to call us that, but essentially that’s what it was. Slavery. Your status would be determined at five years old. My fifth birthday signified the downfall of my life. Not only did I embarrass my family, but since then, in this Gamma household, I’ve become less than dirt.

I remember the first time I noticed the difference in how Jackson and I were treated. While Mother sent Jackson adoring looks and loving smiles, she’d sneer at me every time I spoke or asked for anything. My father made me eat after everyone because I dropped a plate and it became the norm. Soon, I was cooking and cleaning and being criticized for every little thing. If I ever dared to talk back, I’d be tasting blood and nursing bruises. While my parents were subtle in their approach, Jackson didn’t hold back his hatred for me.

“You cheated!” He shouted one day. We were kids and he asked me to play a video game with him. I’d won three times before his tantrum started. “I know you did, so don’t lie!”

“I didn’t!” I had retorted. I reeled back as he got into my face.

“No, you had to! How can a weak omega beat me?! Who do you think you are?!”

Anger had swirled in my chest as I shouted, “Shut up! You’re just mad ‘cause you lost! Loser!”

Then he hit me. Punched me in my stomach and knocked the air out of me. My breath came back with a long wail and Jackson laughed. He laughed. Mother and Father came rushing in, but the damage was done, and I sat on the floor clutching my stomach and wailing for the world to hear. My parents did absolutely nothing about it. Oftentimes, I wondered if they knew it would lead to this route.

Luckily for me, the beatings from him dwindled as we got older. Now, he reserved his energy for harsh judgments and disgusted looks. I didn’t know what hurt the most, the beatings or the words…

“Zaniyah!” Father snapped me from my musings. “Are you deaf or do you like annoying me, girl?”

“N-no, father.” I stutter out, straightening my back.

He scoffed and regarded me with repulsion. I was used to it, so it stung a little less to see it.

“I don’t know why I bother with you. Your head is either in the clouds or buried in some gossip trash.”

He was talking about the travel magazines from the library. It was strange how Alpha Jason wanted us to stay hidden, but had that material in the library. I wasn’t complaining; I loved them to pieces and imagined a life where I wasn’t stuck in some no-name town with people who treated me like sh*t.

“You need to worry about the Sisters’ Gifts Ceremony next week. You better not embarrass this family again.”

Dread poured into my stomach making it churn. The Sister Goddesses festival lasts three days during a full moon where all eighteen-year-olds are blessed by the goddesses with extraordinary gifts. Some were common amongst wolves like the gifts of Leaha, the Goddess of Nature. But rare gifts came from Phera, Goddess of the Shadows, and Rhea, Goddess of the Moon. Everyone hoped for gifts from them. Seeing as I’m an omega, the most I could hope for was something small from Goddess Leaha. Like the ability to heal or grow plants.

Jackson gave me a smug smile as vines twisted around his arm. He could grow plants at rapid speeds out of nothing but a thought. My parents had similar abilities, Father being able to create earthquakes and Mother controlling water at will. A few years back, I couldn’t wait for the goddesses to bless me with a gift. I thought that maybe my family would learn to love me. But, a broken dream didn’t need mending.

When Mother and Father stood from their seats and bid their goodbyes to Jackson, he smiled sweetly up at them, cheeks puffed out full of food. My hands clutched the cloth of my pants tightly.

Please don’t leave me alone with him, I thought.

My heartbeat picked up as our parents’ footsteps faded with the sound of the front door closing. Jackson continued his meal as we heard car doors shutting and finally leaving the driveway. I was utterly alone.

“Want a ride?” He asked, eyes now trained on me.

I stared back, wishing the sunlight would go away and let the shadows swallow me. The expectant look on his face twisted my stomach into knots. He loved to play this game with me. Once I took the bait there was no stopping him. So, I averted my gaze to the floor.

“I asked you a question. Too weak that you’ve lost the ability to talk?” He asked in a tone that could cut ice.

Still, I said nothing. I couldn’t help my nose crinkling from the smell of rotten eggs wafting through the air. He was getting irritated.

“Don’t make me get up,” he said, voice low.

I shut my eyes tight before opening them to lift my chin and give him an expressionless look. “No thank you.”

“No thank you?” He heightened his voice to mock me. “What, too good for a ride from your big bro?”

I bit my tongue from saying something stupid. Whenever I had the gall to talk back to him, those harsh judgments could turn to hits if he felt up to it. And a strong wolf shifter like Jackson did not hold back his punches.

“No thank you,” I said again, determined for this to be over with.

He paused for a moment, jaw clenched. I tensed.

“You know how to speak English, so I expect more than three words from you, Bug,” he spat.

And there was the nickname. He’d begun calling me that as an endearment and I used to love it. But then, that endearment morphed into an insult.

“I can walk to school,” I said.

“Yeah, because you know better. I don’t want a filthy b*tch like you stinking up my car. Did you really think I’d give you a ride?”

I averted my gaze again. As his words drilled into me, I thought of when I’d finally be able to leave this place. When I’ll finally look back and see new lands and people, smiling at me and saying my name in greeting.

“Bug! Are you listening to me?!”

No, of course not, I thought as I nodded.

He stared for a long moment, wondering if I was lying or not. But, despite being my brother, the *ssh*l* could never tell. The day he punched me in the stomach was the day I lost trust in everyone in this house.

“Whatever. You’re no fun when you’re being a mute,” he muttered and stood.

He left without another word. I was left to clean and eat the scraps like a dog. Like always. Another day. More of the same.

*~*~*

After I cleaned the kitchen and took a few pieces of bacon for myself, I sprinted out of the door. Jackson’s little power display set me back. I’d make it a few minutes before the bell rings. The school wasn’t that far, but the walk there always calmed me before I’d have to see faces I hated.

People knew of me being the Gamma’s daughter, but also being an omega, that title meant nothing. Bullies were in abundance. I couldn’t remember the last friend I made since Maddie.

I cringed at the thought of her. Three months ago, Maddie ran away. My best friend ran away without me. In the Green Meadow Pack, life as anything below Gamma was shitty. Maddie was an omega as well and in a family of omegas, she was destined to serve the Alpha for the rest of her life. So was I. My family had already begun the process. Once I finished high school, I’d get to work around the lands of Green Meadow; my fate had already been decided.

We spoke all the time about leaving. It was just a fantasy of course. Leaving meant death for an omega. No other pack would accept them, leaving them as outcasts. Loners. Isolated. But, we always said that we’d take care of each other. Living off the grid and happily hunting and growing our food. It sounded like a dream come true.

Then one night, I received a text.

I’m sorry. I love you.

That was the last thing Maddie said to me before she was gone. On days like these, I wondered if she made it to where she was going. If the pack found her yet…or if she was dead.

I shook the thoughts from my head and continued forward. The school came into view and I sighed. As I walked through the gates, I hunched my shoulders. No one paid attention to me, but it was only a matter of time before I saw—

“Out of the way, Buggy!”

Robin Shaw pushed past me, flanked by her lackeys Cara and Janis. We were about the same height and her long blonde locks didn’t have a hair out of place. She shone as bright as the stars with her sultry green eyes and pouty lips. Of course, she was wrapped around the Alpha Prince, Aiden Spencer.

He stood at an intimidating six foot two inches tall, towering over all of us, and watched me with impassive gray eyes as they passed. It was brief, but I caught a glimpse of his new haircut. While the sides of his chestnut brown head were mildly tapered, the top of his hair fell in messy dark curls. It suited him. He was gorgeous and he hated me.

I stumbled to the side and bit my tongue, wincing at the sharp pain. I guess Robin wasn’t in the mood to mess with me today.  In the three months of Maddie being gone, the bullies left me alone for the most part. The only reason they went out of their way to mess with us was because Maddie didn’t know when to shut up. But then…that’s what I loved about her. Bruised and sometimes even bloodied, we’d laugh it off because we were together. Who did I have now?

I watched the back of Aiden’s head as he made his way into the school. We haven’t gotten along since middle school. But it wasn’t always like that. Because of our parents’ statuses, we spent a lot of time together at social events and the like. We played together with the other kids and Aiden was always the ringleader. He stood strong and confident, a large grin stretching from ear to ear.

“I’m the pirate king!” He’d yell, laughing boisterously.

Everyone followed his lead, and I wasn’t far behind them. We’d look for treasures at the back of gardens and build sand ships in the sandboxes.  In all of this, I became his third-in-command after his best friend at the time. Omegas, Betas, Gammas, or Alphas didn’t matter. Only our imaginative games of pirate kings and court royals.

Aiden kept our friendship going for a good two years after we found out I was an omega. Then, like my family, his like for me dwindled. He started to ignore me and if he wasn’t doing that, he was bullying me. I think he’d called me every name in the book once. I cried for the first time in front of him.

I sighed as Aiden and Robin disappeared down the hall. Despite it all…I still liked him.

*~*~*

Classes lasted unusually long today. The walk home felt like miles and the chores like hours. Father came home at exactly six o’clock, just as I was placing dinner on the table. I stood in my little corner as they ate and talked about their day. Jackson would send me smug looks over Father’s shoulder. I couldn’t wait for everyone to sleep tonight. I needed to run.

When all the lights went out for the night, I snuck out to the backyard. It opened to the dense forest that circled our whole town. I tip-toed behind the first line of trees and undressed under the blanket of the moon. The full moon was coming in a week and with it The Sister Goddesses festival. Rhea, Goddess of the Moon. Phera, Goddess of the Shadows, and Leaha, Goddess of Nature. The three sisters who’d made most if not all of the supernatural of this world. They gave wolves gifts of their affinity and I’ll receive mine in a week on my 18th birthday.

Bones cracked and snapped, bringing me to my knees. The dark forest became crystal clear. The smells became stronger. All of my senses heightened as my wolf came to the surface. A beautiful brown with hints of golden sable and white peeking from patches of fur. I took that moment to take in the sights. I heard the nocturnal creatures scurrying about. I smelled the late-night meal of our neighbor barbequing on this warm night. I heard the soft pads of paws prancing around the forest in a back-and-forth motion. Warriors were making their rounds to make sure no one got in or out. A peaceful night.

I took off. I didn’t care where I was going, knowing this forest like the back of my hand. All pack members knew this forest. And because of that, it made it harder to escape. Our pack wasn’t a big one; about 200 members. Isolated from all others. We had few allies and the rest of the world probably knew nothing about Green Meadow.

I zigzagged through the trees. My legs pumped harder, imagining crossing that invisible line and leaving for good. Maddie had crossed it and there had been no announcement of her disappearance. No alarm bells and no howling wolves in the night. Only a bad wind storm left us cleaning the town of debris for weeks. Whatever happened, I hope she made it.

I ran for an hour, circling the town. The wind caressed my fur. My run slowed to a trot as I neared a lake. It sparkled in the moonlight and my wolf trot picked up the pace, ready to play. The smell came before the presence.

A midnight black mammoth of a wolf took graceful steps toward the lake, taking a few laps of the water. I couldn’t help but stare. There was always a possibility someone else would be out here. Wolves guarded our territory every night.  But what I didn’t expect was a meeting with Aiden. And he was looking right at me.

Aiden’s stare was intense. I stood stock still. I’d only seen Aiden’s wolf a handful of times and each time was as majestic as the last. He had a beautiful wolf, bigger than most. He stood tall as he watched me, statue confident. Like his human form, he had an air of superiority about him and I held back a whimper.

Except for Maddie, I’d never changed in front of others, even during festivals. However, Aiden looked as though he recognized me. The change comes at the same time your status is announced. As a pup, my wolf was scrawny. A runt. Even though my wolf grew to be big and strong—bigger than most female wolves—they all still looked at me in disinterest. Just a large omega ready to be picked on.

So, imagine my surprise when Aiden's large form bent into a play bow, tongue hanging out in a pant. Shocking was the one word to describe this moment. I didn’t know what to do. Fear and excitement coursed through me as he jumped up, prancing about before going