The Love We Never Wanted

It’s raining. Again. And I’ve just finished my long shift at Eddie’s burger haven. It's the busiest we've had all week. My clothes cling to my body like a second skin, soaked and cold. Thankfully, my apartment wasn't far. By the time I reach the second floor, I’m dripping, freezing, and exhausted, like my world.

I am a nineteen-year-old who has been in and out of foster homes because I was never quite a good fit, according to one of my foster parents, and I don't know what that meant.

I never met my ​real parents, I was told by the orphanage that they died after my birth. I had no uncles, no aunties, no siblings anywhere, it was just me. Like, how unlucky can one get? I long decided that if I wanted to survive, I had to quit crying about my life and get my sh*t together.

​I fish out my keys right before I even reach the door, but when I go to unlock it, it swings open. I don't recall leaving it open. I pretty much locked it before going to work. I push the door wider, and I freeze. And it hit me that someone had gained entry and it happened to be last person I ever expected to see. He was sitting on my favorite pink couch like he owned the place and not me.

“What in heaven’s name is going on here?” I ask, my voice sharp with disbelief. “Hey, Meg. You look like a mess,” Kelvin smirks casually at me.

“I thought I made it very clear: you’re not welcome here. Kelvin shrugged, his presence only infuriating me the more. “Well, I’m here now, so you might as well get used to it,” he replied, reclining further into the couch as if he were settling in for a long visit.​

”I don't want you here.” I murmured. “Come on, babe, don’t be like that,” he says, rising to his feet like this is normal. “I just decided to drop by.”

Babe? Did this f*ck*r just call me Babe? This man cheated on me and walked out like I was a piece of unwanted trash, and now he thinks he can just show up unannounced and we make out?

“You cheated. And left me. Remember? So no, you’re not welcome. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever.” “Look, I know you’re a little mad about what happened,” he says like it’s a minor argument and not betrayal.

”But that’s in the past. Let’s move on.” ”How did you get in?” I mutter, ”You know what? Forget it.” I knew the answer to that question. The guy has a knack for wandering into my life without permission.

But I’m tired of this. He is a complete waste of my time and has always been. I guess I was just so blind I didn't realize it sooner. All I want right now is a hot shower and my bed. Without another word, I walked into my room and shut the door behind me. Let him have the tiny living room for tonight. But tomorrow, he better be gone.

I strip off my wet clothes and step into the shower. The warm water streams down my skin like soft kisses, slowly melting away the day’s stress. I let it soothe me until my muscles unclench and the ache and frustration fades​. I step out and wrap myself in a towel. I search through my bag and find the burger I had bought earlier. It's still warm. Thank God. I sink my teeth into it, savoring a bite of the beefy flavor. I wash it down with the leftover apple juice from yesterday. I scroll through my phone and glance at my calendar.

​My rent is due this weekend, and tomorrow's Saturday. I just hope the landlord understands. Getting this money wasn’t easy. I had to work double shifts at Eddie’s and juggle other part-time gigs. But I made it. I have enough for rent and food. I can finally stock up on groceries. Maybe even cook something. I haven’t had a proper home-cooked meal in weeks.

But now… I’ve got to deal with the uninvited houseguest. My ex. The next morning, I wake to my ear-splitting alarm, the one I always sleep through. But today’s different. I needed to go to Clarendon College of Arts & Sciences to follow up on my application... and equally pay my rent. My phone beeps with a new email notification. My heart leaps. It's from Clarendon. My hands tremble as I open it, and then I scream. Jumping up and down on my bed like a maniac. I’ve finally been accepted. A full scholarship. I rushed through my shower, got dressed, and unlocked my door only to find Kelvin still slumped on my pink couch, grinning at me.​

“Morning, sunshine.”

I ignore him and head to the fridge. I grab the last bottle of water. Thankfully, it’s untouched. But the living room looks like a storm hit it. He’s only been here a few hours, and it’s already a disaster.

“Where are you going?” he asks, eyeing me. “None of your business.” I storm toward the door. “You could stop by the store and grab some food,” he calls out. “Your fridge’s empty.” I freeze. “Why don’t you go get it yourself? Oh, look! You’ve got your hands and legs,” I snap, turning to glare at him. “Come on now, it was just a suggestion. If I had any money, I would’ve gone,” he says, whining like a child.

I roll my eyes and slam the door behind me. I didn't want to deal with his lies. I walk to the nearest ATM to transfer the rent to my landlord. I call him to confirm, and he responds with a curt “Got it” and hangs up. No questions asked. ​I let out a sigh of relief. I board a bus going to St. Vincent Street. The sun’s out now, the streets buzzing with life as people went about their daily activities. I stop by a stationery store, browse the shelves, and grab some notebooks, pens, and a fancy little diary. Something about it makes me feel hopeful. I check out and head to the grocery store last, and then I return home.

Thankfully, he's gone. I roll up my sleeves and start cleaning, from my bedroom to the kitchen and back to the living room. By the time I’m done, everything shines. The fridge still looks a little sad, but at least there are fresh veggies and fruit now. It’s a start. I’ll survive. I always do. I’ll work harder. Save better. It’ll be enough. In the kitchen, I whip up a simple lunch. I’ve watched enough cooking shows to know my way around the basics.

As I settle in to eat, my phone rings. It’s the college admin.

“Megan Ashford?” the voice says on the other line. “Congratulations. You’ve been awarded a scholarship to Clarendon College of Arts & Sciences.”

“Thank you so much, ma'am.”

“I’ve sent your school curriculum to your email. Get familiar with it. See you Monday.”

I nearly knock over my salad in excitement. I, Megan Ashford, was finally going to college. And this time, no one, not even Kevin, is going to ruin it for me.​

It’s morning, and I’m up earlier than usual; I was too excited to sleep. Today’s going to be my first day of college, and for once, I feel like things might finally go right. I head straight to the kitchen to make breakfast. But the moment I got there and opened the fridge, I found it empty.​​ There's nothing but a half bottle of ketchup staring back at me. My jaw tightened. This was not how I planned to start my day.

“Kelvin!” I scream, storming out of the kitchen and into the living room. I didn't hear him come in last night, but I should’ve known that he was going to be back, because there he was, half-covered under a blanket on my couch with a girl lying beside him.

She’s passed out, her dress hiked up her thighs and his arm draped over her. They both reek of alcohol and poor decisions. I just stand there frozen. I don’t say a word. I just turn around, walk back to my room, and shut the door. I collapsed lazily on my tiny bed. My chest burned with shame, anger, and d