Forgotten Hues of Love

"Yula..." It was my mother's soothing voice. I tried to erase the name inside my head that has been bothering me to distraction since last night.

I shifted my gaze from the dark sky to my mother. With a small smile, I faced her. I was greeted by her tired eyes. They were full of longing that I couldn't identify if what is it for.

"Ma..." I whispered softly, almost inaudible.

She let out a deep sigh as she walked over to me. Her steps were gentle and quite. She reached my cheek and carresed it softly. I closed my eyes, feeling the warmth brought by her fingers.

"Is there something wrong? Tell me, honey. I have been calling you and it seemed that you were so engrossed with your own thoughts. You just kept on staring into the horizon..."

I shook my head as a response but her gaze remained observant, scrutinizing me.

"It was nothing, Ma. I just remembered the movie that I watched with Lucille yesterday. The ending was very sad and it still breaks my heart whenever I think about it." I tried to sound cheerful so she wouldn't be worried about anything at all.

"Are you sure?" With that, she offered me a small smile. "Let's go? The food is waiting. I cooked your favorite. I know that you've been craving for it since yesterday." She held my hand and pulled me gently towards our small kitchen.

Our dinner went quite. I didn't say anything about the name that has been bugging me. I never told anyone about it even to the following days. I thought about mentioning it to Lucille and Nessa but in the end, I chose not to. I knew that they are not gonna be so much of a help.

"It has been months since the last time he went here, right?" It was Nessa. She was busy slicing the ingredients for the food that we are going to bring for the farmers. The livelihood of the people here in Isabela is farming. Both of my father and older brother are farmers.

"He probably got someone pregnant in Manila?"

My brows knitted in confusion as I listened to their uninteresting conversation. They have been talking about the same topic the whole time. While I, was quite as I washed the tupperware that we are going to use.

"You think? Most probably. If so, it saddens me to think that he got someone pregnant." There was a hint of bitterness in Nessa's tone. My brows knitted even more, if that's even possible. 

"Sol never mentions anything about him whenever I ask her! That old woman is getting to my nerves!"

A name automatically popped in my head the longer I listened to them. It seemed that they were talking about Sol's nephew. I never saw him, though. They said he was working in Manila. But I don't even know why these girls are bothered at this point if he's not here.

When everything was finished, we walked straight to the farm, holding the bags full of foods. Sol offered a dish that she cooked. We ate at the farm, together with the farmers.

I was still not that comfortable around them. It has just been months since I woke up from coma. Though, they have been telling me that I was very close to them before the accident, it is still so hard for me to get along with these people that easily since I couldn't remember any of them.

"Will you go at the carnival tonight?" Papa asked as we were eating our lunch.

"Yes. And we are going to bring Yula with us. I heard that they put more rides compared to the last year." Lucille winked at me. She knows that my father won't let me easily join them because of my situation. Sometimes, my migraine attacks all of a sudden. I know that my father is only worried about me that's why they do not want me to be out of their sight. And I really really want to go at the carnival...

"No. I won't let her, Lucille," Papa said in a stern voice that made me swallowed. I dropped my gaze to my own plate.

"But why? We are just going to have some fun, Uncle! We are not going to let something happen to her. I promise!"

I smiled triumphantly, yet secretly at what Nessa said.

"You are aware about her condition, Nessa. She should just be at home. We don't know when will her migraine attack."

No matter how much I wanted to defend myself and tell my father that I'm completely fine, I didn't even try to open my mouth.

"It has been a week since the last time her migraine attacked. Right, Yula? Tell him! You're fine, right?" Lucille smiled at me.

My father probably pitied me that's why eventually, he had let me go with Lucille and Nessa. I also assured them that my migraine haven't attacked me for almost a week now. I think that I will be okay at the carnival so there's nothing to worry about. My mother reminded me over and over again to call them immediately if something unpleasant happens.

"Do not worry. As long as she's with us, she's safe," Nessa told my parents before we left.

We ate street foods after we had ridden the most extreme ride that they have in here. I regretted trying it. It was the worst experience for me. When they decided to try one more extreme ride, I shooed them away. No. I won't try another ride. I almost fainted!

I roamed my eyes in the surrounding. There were a lot of people but not to the point of squeezing their body with one another. Several food stalls were scattered around the carnival. It was seven in the evening and I told my parents that we are going home at exactly eight o'clock.

My forehead creased when my eyes caught something in the middle of the crowd. It was a man wearing a black cap and black shirt with faded jeans. I saw how he turned his gaze away from me. He was standing beside of a cotton candy stall.

A feeling of suspicion crawled at me when he looked at my direction once more. And there, I saw his face...

He was tall and despite of his age, his attractive looks were undeniable.

It made me more uncertain of what to think when he smiled at me.

It was a kind of genuine smile.

I looked around to see if his smile was for someone else but I didn't see anyone who might he offering his smile to.

I blinked, unsure if I should reciprocate his warm smile. But before I could even think about it, he had already turned his back on me and started walking away.

I don't fucking know but as if my feet had their own mind as I automatically followed him. A voice was whispering inside my head saying that I should follow him and even though I wanted to ignore it, I just couldn't.

I walked faster when I saw his back. But I was not able to catch him as a white van halted infront of him and he immediately went inside.

My eyes followed a single piece of paper that has been fallen from the man before he closed the door of the van. I didn't hesitate to pick it up. And I realized that it was a letter.

No...

He didn't accidentally dropped it...

It was intentional...

When my mind had slowly processed what was written inside, I could no longer control my fingers. They were trembling in an unsettling way.

You shouldn't trust him. You don't know what kind of danger he brings to your life. He has done it before. He will do it again.

- D

I took two small steps backward while looking around. An uncanny feeling that I was being watched crept inside me. I hadn’t noticed the goosebumps creeping on my arms until now, immobilizing me.

Who... who is that man? What does this mean?

And... who is the man he's referring to the letter?

I was full of doubts. My chaotic mind was slowly swallowing my whole being, leaving me hopeless.

While staring at the letter, I feel nothing but coldness, as though something uncanny showed in each of the letters that were written there. My palms were sweating and trembling. It was the worst feeling and I hate it. I hate it so much.

I have been thinking about nothing but this letter since last night. Who's that man? Why did he give me this letter? What is he trying to tell me?

I swallowed hard as I felt the throbbing in my head. It was unbearable. I squeezed my eyes shut, almost hurting them. My grip tightened around the piece of paper. I exhaled excessively multiple times.

I was catching my breath when the throbbing pain had slowly subsided.

I dropped my gaze to the letter. It became a bit crumpled. Sighing, I stood up and walked over to the cabinet. I rummaged through it until I found the small box. I hid the letter inside it.

When I was a