The Ancillae's Familiar

‘Mate!’ my wolf, Honor, screamed in my head on the morning of my 18th birthday. I am sitting by the river waiting for my best friend, Kit, to arrive for a swim. I turned on the bolder that I was sitting on to see Kit heading in my direction. 

‘Nice try, Honor. That’s Kit and we’ve been friends since we were tiny pups. It’s not like that between us,’ I told my wolf. The goddess wouldn’t do something like that would she? ‘MATE!’ Honor boasted in my head as she pranced around. 

There has got to be some sort of mistake. Why would the goddess mate me to my best friend? Kit and I have done everything together since we were old enough to start getting into mischief. Well, everything except for having s*x, we kissed once several years ago; it was gross and awkward. Two nights ago we brought Jess and Hendrix with us to the river and though we couldn’t see each other, I knew he was screwing her while I was riding Hendrix for a night filled with orgasms. This has got to be a joke, right?

I watched Kit approach our spot by the river and when the wind shifted, his beaming smile vanished. Horror and confusion took its place. He tried to paste a smile on his face as his pace slowed before he stopped beside me. “Happy Birthday Ricci,” he mumbled as he looked around for something.

“Th-thank you Kit,” I stuttered as he looked everywhere but at me. D*mn the goddess, why would she do this? 

“This is for you,” he muttered, holding out a small box as he continued to search the area. Whatever he was looking for, it was making him more frustrated by the minute.

“Kit are you okay?” I asked as I could sense his agitation building.

“Yeah. I’m fine, I guess. I just thought I smelled something but I don’t see anything around here,” he murmured as he finally sat beside me. 

I know what he smelled, I was smelling it too. His wolf, Stalker, had to be going as crazy as Honor is, but I wasn’t going to be the first to say anything. Kit was probably in denial and needed to wrap his head around this mess before he talked about it. I am okay with that for now, I don’t even know what to say anyway.

I unwrapped the slender box and when I opened it, I was both thrilled and filled with dread simultaneously. It was a stamped leather bracelet that said ‘K & R BFFs 4 life.’ “Kit, it’s beautiful. I love it.” I leaned over to give him a sideways hug, my bare arm brushed his and he jumped up as if he had been burned by silver. 

“What the f*ck, Ricci? You’re kidding me right? It’s you?” he growled. I didn’t understand his anger. Confusion I would understand, but outright anger I didn’t understand.

“Calm down Kit-Kat. I don’t want this anymore than you do. It isn’t like I asked the goddess for this. We just need to figure out what to do about it. I mean others have rejected their fated mates before. It isn’t unheard of,” I stated, trying to remain calm for both of us.

“You know that Alpha Armand forbids mates to reject one another unless one is abusive to the other or if they are dying. I am supposed to ascend to Delta of the pack next month on the night of the super blue moon. If we reject each other it will make me weak and I could be stripped of my title before I even get it,” he ranted as he paced back and forth in front of me.

“I know that, but we both have someone else anyway. I’m sure you don’t want to give up Jess anymore than I want to give up Hendrix. Kit, I Love you but I don’t think I could ever love you in that way. When I pictured us growing old it was you with your mate and me with mine. Delta Kitridge Detroit and Lead Female Warrior Ricci Mariano with our pups growing up best friends just like we did,” I tried to reason with him.

“Like you don’t already know that neither of those relationships are going anywhere. Both of them wanted to better their status by being seen with someone of higher rank, Ricci. They probably f*ck each other when we aren’t around,” he sneered and I felt like I had been punched in the gut. Why would he say something so malicious?

I jumped to my feet and punched him in the face. “Take that back!” I screeched as I took another swing at him. He caught my fist in his hand this time and twisted arm behind my back. 

“Ricci, stop. You know what I am saying is true. Jess and Hendrix just want to be somebody, so why not do it with someone who’s an heir? They may or may not be f*ck*ng each other, but people like that do those things,” he said with his lips next to my ear. When did Kit turn into a judgemental self righteous b*st*rd? Worse yet, why did anyone think he was the appropriate choice for Delta, because he was an heir born with a set of balls?

I felt like my world was rapidly falling apart around me. Who was this man holding onto me, making such vicious remarks? We’ve been best friends since we were very young and now I felt like I didn’t even know him at all. This was who the moon goddess thought would complete me? Kit had single handedly destroyed everything, life would never be the same. 

When he let me go I fell to the ground and laid there sobbing with my heart broken. I don’t know how long I laid there with my world shattered around me. When I woke up this morning, I was a woman with a bright, even if unknown, future ahead of me. Now I feel like an empty shell with lies for a past and no discernible future. 

Some birthday this has turned out to be, I would have been better off to be killed by rogues or whatever else is out here killing pack members.

I sat up and just stared at the water as it rushed down stream. Normally when I had a problem I would go to Kit and we would go for a run or do something crazy, so I would feel better. Now that he is the problem, I feel so lost. 

As I leaned back to look at the sky, my hand brushed something on the ground. When I looked down it was the bracelet that Kit had given me for my birthday. Tears stung my eyes as I traced the lettering; ‘K & R BFFs 4 life’ the bracelet was a lie, just like my life has been. Even though I felt as if I had a hole in my chest where my heart had been, I was keenly aware that my heart was still there beating in pain and sorrow. The hole was rapidly filling itself with anger at Kit for destroying my happiness.

I clutched the bracelet in my hand for only a second before my arm drew back and I heaved it into the rushing waters. “I HATE YOU KITRIDGE LOGAN DETROIT! I hate you for destroying everything and I hope that I never see you again!” I raged as the bracelet hit the water and sank below the surface. It wasn’t like Kit was there to receive my anger and throwing the bracelet wasn’t as cathartic as a physical release of the anger would have been. Throwing away the gift that Kit made was nothing more than symbolic of removing the rubbish from my life.

I drew my knees up to my chest, wrapped my arms around my legs and laid my head on them as I sobbed once more. I had lost my best friend and a seed of doubt had been planted in my heart and mind, about the man I had spent the last year of my life with. Why would the goddess do this, aren’t we supposed to be her beloved children?

I stayed by the river because I didn’t want to go home and pretend to be happy. I didn’t want to listen to my mother’s dreamy drivel about finding my mate and feeling completed by them. I had found my mate and it destroyed every shred of happiness I had.

I knew I needed to go home and would eventually need to face Kit. I needed to somehow convince him that rejecting each other was for the best, we would both have to compensate for the weakness rejection would bring us, but I didn’t really care. Besides if the rejection was mutual, how bad could it really be? That was the only solution, we couldn’t possibly try to be mates. The very thought of completing the bond with Kit made my stomach churn in disgust. 

I stood and dusted the dirt from my clothes, then bent to pick up the towel I hadn’t even used. It was time to go home and face the problems today had brought me, head on. I slowly put one foot in front of the other and started the trek towards home. 

It was dinner time by the time I walked through the front door. “Ricci, I thought you would have been home hours ago. Go up stairs, get a shower, and change into something nice, we have guests coming for dinner,” my mother lightly