Craving For My Stepdad's Love: Where Desire meets Taboo

Lauren Wayne…. I stood outside the freezing, silent hallway crouching low near a wall, my heart pounding heavily as I slowly lifted my bloodstained hands up to my face, the blood trickling between my fingers, dropping on the white tiles, forming small pools beneath me. I gazed down to my wedding gown, half already stained with blood and clasped my hands together on my head, sobbing silently. Today was supposed to be my wedding, but here I am clutching onto a thin line between life and death. “Miss Wayne?” A voice echoed down the corridor, snapping me back to reality. I shot up, almost stumbling as I rushed toward the man in the white coat. “My father! How is he? I ran here as soon as I heard about the accident!” My hands shook as I gripped his sleeves, wishing for good news. “He’s alive, right? He can’t die… he can’t…” Tears streamed down my cheeks as I clung to him tighter than before. “How is he?” I gasped, my breath coming in hitches seeing that he hadn't responded to my previous question. It can’t be… It can’t… I felt my grip tighten, a last attempt to hold onto my sanity which was about to slip away. The doctor’s expression fell as he gently placed a hand on mine. “I’m sorry. He didn’t survive. He had a concussion and was brought in dead. We need you to sign some forms for the morgue.” I choked on my tears, collapsing to my knees. My world shattered in mere hours. Slowly, I raised my head and spotted a familiar face at the end of the corridor, my fingers clenching at my sides. She was responsible for all this! If she hadn’t had an affair and disappeared like she did seven years ago, Dad wouldn’t have found out, and he wouldn’t have had the accident—she was my mother. A motherfucking person who couldn’t keep her legs closed! I rushed at her, hands outstretched to grab her neck, but she was faster, seizing my upper arms. She gripped my wrist, showing no remorse, as if this was what she wanted. She wanted Dad to die, to have a heart attack so she could run off to her dream man—the one she moaned for when he wasn’t around. “Get out! I don’t want to see your ugly face again. You’re disgusting. Why are you back? Just run like you did seven years ago!” “You can’t blame me, honey. I needed a better life, and he couldn’t give it to me. You’ll understand when you grow up. Sacrifices are necessary to survive.” Sacrifices? Typical of her who only thought of herself. What about me, waiting day and night for her return? Didn’t I make sacrifices, too? I’ve moved on—why couldn’t she? Why couldn’t she just stay out of our lives? “I won’t understand! Not now, not ever! You ruined my wedding! Dad is dead, heading to the morgue, and you’re… nothing!” I screamed, ripping my hands from her grip, but she held on tight. A lump formed in my throat, choking off the rest of my words. I wanted to scream so many things, but the truth hit me hard: She cheated on him. How could she betray our family, sleeping with some random man in their marital bed? I took deep breaths, steadying the remaining sanity I had left with me. “Why did you do all of this? Why…?” Our family was not wealthy but it was perfect, something I wanted for my future. Then I discovered the truth; my mom was cheating on my dad. I walked in on her, naked with a man–tall and muscular, right beneath her. I fled before anyone saw me but it happened again and again– six times in a month. Whenever dad wasn't around, she let him into our home! “You don't have to understand, you just have to know that life is not a bed of roses.” “But my father loved you, why? Why did you do all this? He gave you everything he had! Didn't you think he would have a heart attack when he found out you were screwing another man? Tell me who the man is? Tell me, I deserve to know who you have s*x with when my dad's not around.” Yes, I said it, and I wasn’t afraid to repeat it. My mother’s strained gaze burned into me, her lips curling into a smirk. “I don’t have regrets, Lauren. I don’t…” That was all I needed to hear. Her actions weren’t mistakes; today, she made that crystal clear. I turned to see the doctor eavesdropping and walked over, demanding the consent form. I didn’t bother reading the details—just signed it and headed for the exit. “Lauren ,” She called, her voice icy, her face pale. Blood dripped from the right side of her chin, and a scratch marred her neck from the accident. “Do you want to know who I’ve been sleeping with? It’s Shane Shepherd, your dad's best friend. He loves me, and I know I love him. If I had to choose again, I’d choose him—ten times over.” “Shane Shepherd,” I heard her say. The name echoed in my mind. It couldn’t be! The man I caught in bed with my mother? My dad's best friend? The one who always stood by him through thick and thin? How could he betray my father like this? And of all women, it had to be her! I knew she was deliberately fueling my rage, waiting to see how I’d react. But I was too drained to even look at her. All I wanted was to be in my lover's arms, to escape this nightmare, hoping karma would deal her a cruel hand. “Your dad needs to sign the divorce papers before you go. Since he is dead, having you as a consent will be better. Lauren , I am not a bad person, you'd also want me to follow my happiness as well. Why can't you be happy for me as well?” Happy for her? I sneered, rage bubbling in me. “How can you be so selfish?! How dare you! Happy for you? You’re delusional! If what you meant by your happiness means breaking your twenty years of marriage, then you are sick in the head!” “I am not insane, Lauren Wayne. How dare you speak to your mother like that! You don’t know what it’s like to be trapped,” She hissed. “I deserve to be happy, just like anyone else! I deserve to be loved and not shoved aside like your father did to me!” “Your happiness cost my father his life, not like you care anyway. You vanished without a word for seven years, and now you have the nerve to come back?” “Enough!” She shouted, and for the first time, my mother yelled at me. “You don’t understand sacrifice! I’ve sacrificed everything for a man who never truly loved me!” “Then why cheat?” I shot back, my heart racing, desperate to make her see the truth. “Why betray the one person who stood by you?” “Go ahead, Lauren . Sign the papers. Let’s finalize this mess so I can finally be with Ethan.”

Shane Shepherd, I heard her say… I was dumbfounded and in the split second of time frozen to hear his name ringing in my head–Shane Shepherd. It couldn't be that the man I caught on the bed with mom was him! He was my dad's best friend, someone who stood up for my dad, and stuck through him during difficulties. It couldn't be him who would betray my dad in the end? And of all women he could screw, it was my mother! I knew she was deliberately fueling my anger, trying to find out what I could do but I was too exhausted to spare her a glance, I just wanted to be in the arms of my lover and spend this tragic night without having to remember any of this and one way hope that karma will truly be a b*tch. “Your dad needs to sign the divorce paper before you go.” “He is dead! He is f*ck*ng dead, you are free, isn't that you always wanted? Go to hell mother, I wish you will just go to hell!” I screamed, running out from the corridor and going left. I leaned against the wall, my body