I wish I knew

This was a wonderful and weird time for me, but I wanted to make my mother proud. She gave her everything for me because I was her last hope for happiness in this lifetime.

Dad had already left when I was two years old, and my elder sister was nine, I guess. My mother fought so hard to be able to care for me and my elder sister in the absence of my dad.

My mom gave us her very best; being a single mom with two children and no form of support was a "hell of a job".

My elder sister, who graduated from college, just died six months ago as a result of cancer. This was a realistic pain I had to get over so that I could move on in my life.

I just got admitted to my dream school, and I wish my sister was alive to witness this special celebration.

I felt so happy, but remembering the fact that she was no longer here to share good times with me wasn't easy to deal with. I bet she was my best friend.

She always told me a lot about college and how it feels as a fresher. I can't lie, I feel so nervous. I have been having mixed feelings for the past two weeks.

She told me that being a fresher means you get to experience a whole different life from that of high school.

That sounded good to me, you know. The fact that I didn't have many rules to abide by, like those of high school, was cool, but on the other hand, I am not a notorious student. Trust me, I was a "good girl".

My elder sister said that freshman year was full of enthusiasm and nervousness. Some get flustered by little things, and some don't panic and enjoy every good and bad moment in them.

Yeah, true. On my first day in this goddamn school, someone spilled coffee on me and told me, "Sorry." I was so embarrassed, but there was nothing I could do because I was still a freshman, and it was also my first day at that school.

"Let's not start with a bad record".

Well, let's go on.

She told me some weird things about college. Like:

If you're single, you get a girlfriend or boyfriend somehow.

If you don't feel like writing assignments, somebody will let you copy them.

By just reading two hours before the exams, you tend to score good marks.

When your tiring exams end, you rush home to see your family and your loved ones at home after being frustrated by the goddamn college.

When you get a fresher party, you try new things you never did before, and under the effect, you get to dance with a stranger all night or you end up in someone's bed.

Above all the weirdest things about college, the most interesting part is that you get to make friends you no longer want to lose in your life.

I have been here for two weeks, and I haven't made any friends. I know that I am not a social type, but "fuck it."

Who cares? I came here to study.

Not make friends

"Hi," someone said to me. I turned to look at who was talking to me. "Hey," I said reciprocatively. It was a dark-skinned and handsome dude. He was a bit taller than I was. Are you in this class? He asked, Yes, I am. I answered.

My name is Max, and I am also in this class. He said, Oh? Really? My name is Danielle. Nice meeting you.

Nice meeting you too.

How long have you been here? He asked, Um, maybe for like ten minutes or so, as a student who was determined to make her mother proud, I was keeping up with the routine I made myself.

I made sure I was the first to be in class before anyone else.

I see, you came very early, he said in a warm voice, raising his lips to a smirk. Yeah, I do come early, always, I replied to him.

I like your hair, he said, "oh!" "Thanks so much", Max was the first person who talked to me nicely and even appreciated my hair.

I have always made sure my hair never looked bad, ever since I was a child, but it seemed that people here didn't care about anything.

Or maybe I was just not the kind of girl they liked? Maybe yes? Because I was not a baddie kind of girl.

I dress decently, and I don't expose my body.

What are all the books for? Max asked Um… I usually take them with me to class.

Really? Yeah, I said sluggishly.

I think that's too much. I think you should drop some at home and take the most important ones so that you won't be tired of carrying too many books.

Yeah, I will do that. Thanks for your concern.

Max was nice for the few minutes I stood with him. I also liked his accent, the way he cared, and the way he showed concern, which was so nice of him.

Mmm... clearing his throat, a man wearing glasses with bald hair approached us. Are you a student? He asked hastily, "Yes, sir," and we both replied.

Pardon my lateness, please, he said to us nicely while opening the door of the class.

During lunchtime for the few days, I came to this school, I was lonely. During lunchtime, I just sat with my food, watching everyone, which was the best option for me at that time.

But today I got a nice friend to eat with and talk to during the break.

Maybe I will not be lonely anymore because Max and I sat together the whole lecture period before the break.

Danielle, what would you like for lunch? He asked while we were leaving the class for a break.

He wants to buy me food. Oh my goodness, this guy is driving me nuts. He is so sweet.

Umm, thanks, but I brought food—some pizza.

Oh really,

Yeah, I said in a soft and chuckling tone.

That's fine. Do you mind if I get you some chicken wings? He asked

"Yeah, I would love it."

"Okay, then, I will get it."

********************************

Do you have friends here? I asked him

Max

Not really; I'm a freshman here, but my brother is a senior student at this college.

Danielle

Oh really? That's good.

Umm…max I can't hold this back. I want to thank you for the food and everything. You're the nicest person I have met in the few weeks I have been on this campus.

Max

You're welcome; I wasn't expecting that.

Danielle

I know that I wasn't supposed to say that so quickly, but I had to be real; every single dude I came across in this school was not nice.

They were so fucking annoying, bro.

Max

I