Ghouls Gone Wild
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Cassie’s brow creased and Edwin for a moment Edwin thought she was going to shame him for trying to take her grandmother away, but then Cassie surprised him by whispering, “Who else is down there with you?” Edwin was puzzled by the question, but that was when the dust under the air stirred, and before Edwin had a chance to react, something snatched his leg and gave it a healthy yank. Book #1 Sneeze Fart Shift Book #2 Ghouls Gone Wild Book #3 Crimson Tide
CHAPTER 1: THE HAUNTING OF SILVERDALE
Edwin lay in wait under the bed of eight-year-old Cassie Roberts, who had lost her grandmother just a few days before. Cassie’s grandmother had doted on her and was reluctant to trust her precious legacy in the hands of, in her own words, her nincompoop son and his incompetent wife.
Granny was a sly one and difficult to wrangle. Often when the ghouls couldn’t pursue souls to cross over, they had to use other means, such as entrapment. So, Edwin had resolved to climb under the toddler’s bed, knowing that no grandparent could resist hovering over their grandchildren while they were subdued, due to the sleeping hours being the only time that human children were not demonic.
Though this was the best way to ensnare ornery grandmothers, it did occasionally have its drawbacks. Children functioned on instinct alone and have not yet been conditioned to believe their fears were silly, so when they sensed a presence under their bed, they were never bashful about calling their parents in to confirm their suspicions.
This often led to Edwin having to do something embarrassing, like clamoring into the closet or hiding in the toy box, which often only gave human children the impression that their toys and clothing were possessed.
Cassie, unfortunately, was an intelligent and inquisitive girl. Once the house had settled and her parents had turned in for the night, she hung her upper body over the edge of the bed, drew back the overhanging sheets that offered Edwin coverage, and whispered, “Boo.”
Edwin recoiled, startled by the distorted face and hanging hair gazing at him. His first impulse was to flee, but then he gathered himself, realizing that it was the little girl's face peering upside down at him.
“You should be asleep,” he lectured her, “Your mother will be pretty angry if she discovers that you’re still awake.”
The threat of an angry parent didn’t deter Cassie, who continued to stare at him, which Edwin found unsettling because the child refused to blink. “What are you doing under my bed?” she queried.
Edwin had never been confronted before, and his mind scrambled for an explanation that would satisfy the girl and pursued her to return to her bed, but his mind drew a blank.
Edwin assumed he wasn’t dealing with the average eight-year-old. He had heard about her type from other ghouls, she was one of those children who pointed out the plot holes in fairytales, and often infuriated the adults in her life when she corrected them. These children saw right through deception and the adults in their lives were vulnerable to being swindled. Edwin decided it may be best if he were simply honest.
“I’m waiting for your grandmother,” he told her.
Cassie’s large brown eyes lit up, “Me, too,” she cried, “She checks on me every night you know.”
“Yes, I’m here to try to correct that,” Edwin explained.
Cassie’s brow creased and Edwin for a moment Edwin thought she was going to shame him for trying to take her grandmother away, but then Cassie surprised him by whispering, “Who else is down there with you?”
Edwin was puzzled by the question, but that was when the dust under the air stirred, and before Edwin had a chance to react, something snatched his leg and gave it a healthy yank.
Cassie rolled over to the other side of the bed, expecting the ghoul and his friend to appear on the other side, but it seemed as if they had vanished into thin air.
Across town, in an area where respectable women did not venture (unless they were fully disguised) and human men only visited during their lunch hour, when they wouldn’t be missed, Edna was piecing together the latest display in her shop, Edna’s Exotic Emporium.
“Please let me out,” a disembodied voice called out, “I promise I’ll be good.”
“Ricky, you paid for four hours, and your time isn’t up yet,” Edna responded.
“Can you at least tighten the vice grips?” Ricky ventured, “I can still move my head slightly.”
Edna inhaled deeply, Ricky was accustomed to being difficult and she may have banned him from Edna’s altogether if he wasn’t her best customer. “I’ll be there shortly,” she said in a sticky sweet voice that warned him against testing her.
She stood back and surveyed the store, attempting to decide where she would display her new product when Ricky cried out again, “Help me,” he pleaded, “Somebody help me!”
Disgruntled, Edna stomped to the back room where she had confined Ricky to a table with the use of vice grips. She had covered his head with a black hood earlier so she wouldn’t have to view the grotesque expressions he made as she bound him.
“Thank you,” he cried out from the mask as she turned the screws into his temples and tweaked the ones around his wrists and ankles for good measure.
“There you go,” Edna said after she had finished with her readjustments, “Now leave me in peace so I can finish putting the stock away.”
“I wouldn’t be complaining at all if you had just hung me by my guts as I requested,” Ricky argued.
Edna rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips, “I told you before, if you want to be strung up by your guts, you’ll have to do it yourself.”
Ricky was about to respond when the bell that alerted Edna that a customer had entered the store rang out. “I’ll be with you momentarily,” she called out sweetly before turning to Ricky, “That may be one of the husbands from the human sector that managed to sneak out, so you need to hush.”
“Why don’t they just go to marriage counseling instead?” Ricky quipped.
“That’s not my concern,” Edna sniffed, “Besides if everyone went around solving their marital problems Edna’s Exotic Emporium wouldn’t have any business.”
“Well, when you put it like that...” Ricky began, but Edna cut him off. “Just stay quiet and don’t spook the customer,” she warned him as she slipped out the door and closed it behind her.
Edna fluffed her cloud of snow-white hair and readjusted her horn-rimmed glasses as returned to the show floor. “Welcome to Edna’s Exotic Emporium, we have all the delights to get you through the night,” she rattled off.
She waited, usually at this point a startled customer would drop the product they had been testing, or a hooded customer would step into view, appearing beat red with embarrassment, but she was greeted with silence.
Edna took a lap around the showroom, certain she would find a hooded figure creeping about, but the store appeared to be empty.
“The darn bell above the door must be broken,” she assumed, walking over to the spiral staircase to the apartment where she resided with her husband, Chad, who was currently cleaning up after a long night of hunting.
“Chad, my love, I think the bell on the door is broken again,” she cried.
Suddenly, she was treated to a sharp thwack on her high end. She giggled, expecting that her husband had snuck up behind her, but when she turned, there wasn’t a soul in sight.
“Chad?” she called again, uncertainly.
“Be down in a minute my love,” his voice sounded from the floor above her. “I was just giving myself a scrub down.”
Edna rubbed her hind end and did her best to convince herself that the slap on the bottom was just her imagination, but that was when a whip snapped next to her ear.
She turned to see that the whip was being used, though who was controlling it was a mystery since it floated in mid-air.
Edna opened her mouth to protest, but that was when a ball gag suddenly flew into her mouth to silence her. Edna reached behind her, attempting to fend off her attacker before they fully engaged the straps, but there were no hands to clasp.
Without warning, a pair of cuffs clamped over her wrists, trapping her hands behind her head. Before she had the opportunity to break free, she was shoved backward by a powerful force, only stopping when she landed bottom first on a swing, designed for sexual proclivities.
Edna broke free of the cuffs that bound her hands, but that was when the swing began to rock viciously, forcing her to hand on or be lunged through the plate glass window of the storefront that had been tinted to prevent unsolicited peeping from the outside.
Edna was not the only resident of Silverdale to be inconvenienced that evening. Nearly every street had been effective and from a bird's eye view, one could observe lights flickering, sprinkler systems sporadically turning on, threatening to overwater lawns.
If one with a bird’s eye view was also gifted with good hearing, the shrieking of the residents could be heard as they attempted to save their silverware while dodging the cookware that was being flung across their homes.
CHAPTER 2: THE PAUPER QUEEN
I stood gazing up at Luna, touching the center of my breast. To an onlooker, it may seem as if I were mimicking her gesture, as though I was appealing to her, but I was not there to worship.
After I had defeated Mercy in what was now dubbed The Battle of The Werewolf Queens, a brand had appeared between my breasts, taking on the same design as the flower of life that the witch Finn had painted when she had cast the spell of Divine Intervention.
The scar was ugly, and I did my best to avoid my reflection while I was naked, but today it couldn’t be avoided.
I had just finished showering when I felt a crawling sensation within the folds of my cleavage, when I rushed to the mirror, I was horrified to discover that the brand had deepened in color and now the ropey scars were moving as if a pit of snakes were being held captive beneath the surface of my skin.
I had watched in disgust as the brands wormed and overlapped, tracing the
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