Lingering Souls

I stood with my family at the top of the stairs as the wine swirled gently in my cup.

Everyone was dressed in elegance and finery. The bright light emanating from the huge chandelier, above me, illuminated the ball room as everyone moved to the  rhythm of the slow song that played.

Today was Matriarch Sheila McGuire's birthday and the top elites of the city, graced tonight with their appearance.

Now everyone gathered around the center of the parlor because Matriarch Sheila McGuire proposed a toast.

My grandmother, the Matriarch of our family, straightened her back as she took a regal posture and raised her glass.

"First off," she began. "I want to thank you all for attending my small party. Your presence here means a lot to me"

"Also, I want to thank the Monastos for gracing this little gathering I prepared. Thanks for being my VIP guests " she raised her glass towards them and they did too, smiling.

"I'm toasting to celebrate the union between my grandson here..." She pointed to me "... and Sara Monasto. I can't wait for us to finally become family"

She said and I audibly gulped. The Monasto family and my family had been business allies for over eight years. I belonged to the McGuire family and I was the only son of a renowned billionaire family.

I had been born with a silver spoon and trained in the best schools to be an heir.

I was the only son of my family and my parents and grandma wanted me to continue the McGuire legacy by getting married to Sara Monasto, the first daughter of the Monasto family.

But I didn't want to. I didn't have feelings for Sara. I wasn't even into girls or women.

I am gay.

I liked men but it was a secret.

My dark secret.

No one knew about this, not even my family.

My family never supported homosexuality or lesbianism. My uncle was disowned by my grand father and cut off from the family because he fell in love with a man.

I didn't want to risk getting disowned, that's why I kept my homosexuality as a secret.

My family kept arranging dates for Sara and I but I was reluctant about meeting her. Sara and I finally went on our date yesterday and my family celebrated it. That's why my grandma made a toast to our relationship today.

I really didn't fancy Sara. I knew she didn't love me too, but was also forced to go on a date with me by her family.

Matriarch Sheila nudged me with her elbow, interrupting my thoughts.

"What are you thinking so deeply about?" She asked

"Um--nothing" I replied

"If you say so" she said. "what do you think about Sara?"

"Uh... she's a nice woman" I replied. But I'm not in love with her. I don't even desire her. Fuck, I don't think I would because I liked men.

That was on the tip of my tongue but I didn't say it. I feared my grandma too much to even confide in her about my worries. She was strict and cold and she called the shots. She didn't want us to call her grandmother or mother so we all called her Matriarch Sheila. She always said she didn't want us to be overly sentimental towards her or anyone.

She ruled the family and business with a cold fist.

"She shouldn't just be a nice woman to you" Matriarch Sheila bit out  "she should be more than that because she would soon become your wife"

Wow grandma! Tell me something I didn't know!

The party was beginning to suffocate me. I felt tired and I wanted to retire for the night.

I silently excused myself and went to my room.

Uggghh! I let out a loud sigh as I slumped on my bed.

Tomorrow was Saturday and I had an appointment at a gay club.

I usually went to the club on Saturdays and I loved going there because no one knew who I was there, I could be myself in the midst of different men.

I also liked the club because there were only men present.

Women weren't allowed in.

As I shut my eyes and anticipated my arrival at the club the next day, my phone buzzed.

I had just received a text message. I opened it and saw that it was from Freddy.

Freddy was my present hook up. We did a no strings attached relationship so we met on days when I was less busy and fucked.

"When next we going to meet? When next am I going to spank that ass?" He asked. He was sexting me. He always liked to sext me on the days we didn't meet.

I usually replied him quickly because I loved sexting.

But I didn't feel in the mood today. Matriarch Sheila was about to ruin my life by fixing me in a loveless marriage with a woman and the thought of it made me sad.

"Certainly not today" I texted back. "I'm about to go to bed"

"Don't be such a bore" Freddy texted

"Sorry Fred, not in the mood today. I'll see you tomorrow at the club" I texted then dropped the phone.

I felt sorry for blowing Freddy off but it couldn't be helped. I was in a foul mood and I didn't want to ruin his.

I could tell that Freddy had feelings for me but I didn't want to reciprocate his feelings.

I hadn't gotten into a serious relationship since college.

I got my heart broken by a guy who claimed to like me at first. We started dating and I was so smitten by him until he told me that he was straight.

He told me that he was into girls and he didn't want to have anything to do with a guy like me. He even got a girl pregnant and it broke my heart the more.

Ever since then, I hadn't committed into a serious relationship. I didn't allow myself to fall in love with any guy.

I didn't want to hurt Freddy so I was going to let him down easy, tomorrow at the club.

Different thoughts kept swirling through my head and I fell asleep, thinking of the day that I was going to reveal my secret to my family.

The studio lights shew brightly and it beautified the club. The disco music was loud and everyone danced.

I stood upstairs as I sipped vodka and watched the surrounding.

Almost all the men present at the club were busy with another man. Either kissing, touching or dancing immorally.

Where the hell was Freddy?

I didn't feel in the mood to dance so I just drank my vodka, quietly.

I finally saw Freddy.

"Hey!" Freddy called as we saw eachother.

"How's you been?" He asked as he grabbed my butt cheek.

"I'm good " I replied, allowing him to touch my ass. It felt good.

"What's with your bored attitude? I know you're probably feeling down but don't worry, I'm here to spice things up " he said and before I could reply, his lips crashed down on mine.

I opened up quickly for him, trying to get into the mood. I was trying to distract myself from the whole marriag